New Every Morning

Really, I am NOT a Crier!

2011-08-22T08:44:00.004-05:00

"I am not a crier" I declared over breakfast with some friends, (as I tell them how I have been crying so much lately.) I, also, said that to my sister recently. Yet, in reality, I have become quite good at it. I have become what I said I wasn't. Yesterday, I could not control my tears all during worship and then all during the message at church. (this has happened a lot lately, but not in public) On the way home in the car I speak out loud to the Lord. "What in the world is going on??? Why cannot I control these tears, my life is not some tragedy." And then comically, tears pour down my face. I roll my eyes and then smile at the lady in the car next to me who is staring at me.

This morning I revisit those thoughts. I asked the Lord again "Why? Why are tears right there at every moment..am I not trusting you, is my gaze too earthly, am I being selfish, self-focused, am I lacking strength because I don't run to You, am I in unbelief??? Why am I a mess?" Of course, as I am talking with Jesus tears are dripping down my morning face (not pretty). I, then recall, that in the message yesterday Craig reminded us the Jesus will wipe away every tear and I am now trying to imagine how big the box of kleenex designated for me will need to be when I get to see Him face to face! I laugh and say out loud, good thing you own everything because You are gonna need every hankie for this girl.

As I continue to pray I feel the tender rest that only the Lord can bring and He reminds me that I asked Him to break my heart with what breaks His and help me to be His hands and feet, to help me to be faithful in whatever He calls me to regardless of the price. I realize that my tears are tied to the growing burden I feel for the fatherless, the least of these and for the wandering sheep. I so want the love of Jesus to break through and renew the brokenhearted, to bring back the prodigals, to rescue those who are enslaved by others or by sin, I want the orphan to know the security of God the Father AND the tender touch of being tucked in at night. My heart is so desiring to see God move in peoples lives in radical ways and to do the same in my life. I so want to live the rest of my life in full abandonment to Him and Him alone, and yet, in all truth, that scares the heebie geebies out of me. And then when I think that these tears are part of the new thing He is doing in me, it scares me even more. Who wants to be the crazy old lady that cries all the time???? I would so prefer the composed, solid, wise, women role!

As I wrapped up my devotions I still felt a bit confused about it all (and tears are still a flowin'), but one thing I think I came away with is that when I said I wanted my heart to reflect His heart, well I really don't think I really knew what I was really saying, and yet...I have no regrets.

Trying to Give Thanks

2011-08-10T08:05:00.003-05:00

This year I began a Gratitude Journal. I was prompted by Ann Voskamp's blog and book One Thousand Gifts. Each day I would write things I was thankful for...coffee, family, a tender word, a child's giggle etc. I have been pretty regular in keeping up. I was learning to look for thinks to be thankful for in each day, gifts from God himself. I saw a change in my heart and my words, I felt like I was growing in gratitude. Unfortunately, I have slowed down.

In July I got stuck. It was not that I didn't see anything I was thankful for. It was just that some things happened that I didn't want to happen, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, and somethings didn't happen that I wanted, our adoption of two kids. And there is where I am stuck. I can't seem to get back in the groove of seeing each day as an opportunity to see God in things. I can't seem to get beyond things that did not go my way. So, my journal has just sat.

This morning as I was praying I was talking to the Lord about my inability to be grateful for what is, I want something else. "Help me to trust that THIS is GOOD, help me to rest in your sovereign will." If thanksgiving is the evidence of accepting whatever He gives and I am not giving thanks, then I am refusing to believe that what He gives is good and I am saying I know better than God. His Word says that He works all things for my good and that He will not withhold anything that is good for me. I go back and read this quote from One Thousand Gifts...

"You would be very ashamed if you knew what the experiences you call setbacks, upheavals, pointless disturbances and tedious annoyances really are. You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies-though that never occurs to you. Nothing happens to you except by the will of God and yet God's beloved children curse it because they do not know what it is!"

Hmm, yes, I am a blasphemer when I refuse to give thanks for all that He has done and when I decide that His will is not good and perfect for me. I see my error, I repent, I ask my precious Jesus to forgive me for my pride and foolishness, He has shown me His goodness, how is it I can forget so quickly? and I begin listing again in my gratitude journal...

...cancer killing drugs

...strength in trials

...Your heart for the fatherless

...Your forgiveness of your children's errors

...a new morning

....vacations

...time with Mom and Dad

...time with my sister

...laughter with my niece and nephews

...my steadfast husband

...safe arrival home

Black Eyed Susans

2011-06-18T13:52:00.005-05:00

I recently recalled a memory from way back. The first summer we lived in Denver I was amazed at the Black Eyed Susans that were growing all over the place. We saw them in open spaces and along the side of the road. I loved them, they displayed to me what Colorado was, a beautiful open place full of the glory of God's creation. So, naturally, when it came time to do our backyard I begged Fred to leave some of the Black Eyes Susans that had grown wildly on our property. I thought they would add to the Colorado look of the yard we were planning. He called them weeds, but I argued that they were native plants and that they would look great with the boulders in our yard. So, Fred agreed to leave a small batch in the back corners of the yard. Unfortunately, by the third year we were being overrun by my beloved flowers. They were trying to kill off everything in sight and the reality was they were out of control and they had to be dug up and thrown away. They were weeds! They were unruly and competing with the plants we were trying to cultivate in our gardens. Though they were beautiful they were capable of choking everything good in our yard. I had foolishly thought I could tame them!

The Lord brought that story to my mind recently as I thought about sin in my life. He reminded me that I think I can control it all, just like I thought I could control the weeds. I thought I could contain it to small areas of my heart and not let it get out of hand. He reminded me that I must be aggressive and root sin out, the whole plant including the root, l must work diligent to be rid of sin it will regrow. He reminded me that I am foolish to think a little won't hurt or be hard to contain. But, then I felt discouraged, I felt like I had tried to root it all out, I had tried to suffocate sin and deny it oxygen, but it keeps growing. As I sat there I felt like the Lord came along side me ever so gently are reminded me of the Black Eyed Susans, He reminded me of how we had to work had to dig deep and remove them, but then He reminded me that it was Him who provided our strength to dig and dig and the wisdom to be diligent to keep checking for new growth of the weeds. Yes, it was all of Him, apart from Him we would not have even known the yard was in danger of being a Black Eyes Susan field, it looked pretty to my eyes. We can't do anything a part from Him. And most importantly He reminded me that morning that He takes great delight in helping me and doing it for me. He loves to be my all in all. He is glorified when His power is made known in my weakness. I don't need to do it on my own, He will give me everything I need for life and godliness. He will be faithful to show me areas that need to be changed and then He is faithful to provide for me everything I need to complete the task at hand. Isn't He so good??!!

Mark 4:35-41

2011-05-30T08:28:00.005-05:00

I took a little detour from studying the Gospel of John and hopped over to Mark for a few days. There is no reason for this, just did it on a whim. I have been stuck in Mark 4:35-41. Jesus is in a boat with the disciples, he is sleeping. A big ole Texas-like windstorm kicks up and the disciples wake Jesus and ask him "don't you care that we are perishing?" Jesus speaks "Peace, be still" the storm obeys him and then Jesus turns to his friends and says "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?"

There is so much here to meditate on. First, the assumption from the disciples that because they are in a storm, Jesus must not care. Isn't that an assumption I often make? In the midst of difficulty or discomfort I can be so quick to assume He is not caring. Yet, I know He can never be anything but caring for me. The Psalms are filled with promises of His care for us. We are told His eye is always on us, he cannot forsake us, he is mindful of every thing that pertains to us. If I rehearse the scriptures I will not go to the place of thinking He does not care. (On a side not, they thought they were perishing, I must remember, my days are already numbered and no one and no thing can cause me to perish unless it is the appointed moment that He already has determined.)

Then, Jesus speaks. He just speaks and the wind ceases and there is great calm. Great calm. Great calm. All He did was speak!!! No more waves, no more wind. I must be reminded of the power of His words. With a word He spoke creation into being. With a word He stops the raging storms. His words are amazingly powerful and it would do me good to pay attention to the red lettered words and recall them often.

Then, Jesus asks "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" Now if I were asking someone that question I think I would be asking with exasperation and condemnation, but I bet Jesus asked it full of compassion and mercy. I bet he asked it like a mom would ask a fevered child if they were feeling any better. Concerned for their soul's well being, maybe a bit disappointed at the lack of growth in His friends, but filled with tenderhearted compassion. Ugh, I have much to learn here.

Lastly, verse 41 says "and they were filled with great fear and said to one another 'Who then is this, that even the wind and sea obey him?" CRAZY...they go from fear of the storm and begging Jesus to save them to fear of Jesus because He calmed the storm and saved them!!! They went from one fear to another. Oh, don't I do that? Once the thing I fear is resolved I can so quickly decide something else is to be concerned about. Why is it so hard to just rest and trust and know He is in control of everything, every storm, every gale, every wind, every joy, every blessing?

I am convinced the only way out of these patterns is to know the word of God. To meditate on the truths of scripture. To bask in the wonderful power the word has. To repeat it over and over and speak it to myself and to others. To have it hid in my heart that I might not sin against Him.

2011-05-03T18:08:00.003-05:00

We got word today that one of our options is not an option anymore. There was a 13 year old girl we were considering adopting, the workers involved in her case had narrowed it down to 2 families, us and someone else. In the end, the other family was picked. We actually feel really good about their decision, we had some hesitations, but it was still a bit hard. I want the process to be over. We have some other things brewing, but no idea if anything will pan out. So, we wait. We continue to pray for God's will and we continue to feel love and longing in our hearts for someone we haven't even met. It is crazy.

Part of me wants to remind God that this whole shenanigans was His idea and we are just trying to obey so if He could get with the program and get us a kid we would appreciate it! Then I remember that God is about the whole thing, the whole process, not just the end result. He is about fashioning all of us and teaching all of us and stretching all of us so that His glory may be revealed. Oh yeah, I remember now, it is all about Him, not me!

So tonight, I cry a bit and remind my soul that He is working and He will do it. I go back and pray over every kid we are submitted on, I relinquish my hold on my agenda, my way, my idea and my timing. And of course, I grab my my Gratitude Journal and add some more entries...

...the process

...refiner's fire

...Hand picked delays

...hope for a "yes" soon

...a few more mornings that I don't have to take someone to school

...assurance of His good will

...rest in my heart

Adoption Stuff

2011-05-01T21:21:00.002-05:00

Well, the journey has been longer than we expected, but in all reality, it is still not a long wait. We have been praying and waiting and wondering. We have tried to live life as if everything is normal, but we can't help but add "once we get our child..." to many sentences....like "we should go on a get-a-way weekend because once we get our child we may not be able to go for a while." So, we are waiting and trying to act like nothing is going to change.

It has been a bit hard because we thought we would have had a child placed with us by now, but it is a great reminder to us that these kids have been waiting a really, really long time. Anyway, there are a couple of things brewing. It is too much info to get into and it all may fall through, but will you pray for us? Monday may be a big day for us. Please pray that our hearts would respond in faith toward God no matter what news we hear and please pray we would know God's will and obey. We are desperate know God's will and to follow it. I know He is eager to lead us.

I will fill in all the details once something is clear, it just isn't helpful to ride the emotional rollercoaster and then have to get back to everyone with details that didn't pan out.

Thanks for encouraging us so often and asking for the latest update. We feel your love and support as we continue along.

2011-04-08T12:02:00.004-05:00

I just could not find them. I searched and racked my brain, when did I wear them last?? How long have my favorite pair of flip flops been missing? I back track...I ask my girls "What was I wearing on Saturday? Oh, yes my Old Navy pink shirt, did I have on my brown flip flops?" Then a call to another girl "Can you ask Violet if she remembers me wearing my flip flops or if she saw them while she was here?" No one knows where they went to. I go through the trash (knowing I am capable of every absent-minded action). I finally give up and wear flip flops that don't match. Later in the day I am back at the great search. I waste an hour. Thinking, re-thinking, looking through my shoes for the 100th time. Finally, I remember that Someone knows where they are, so I pray "Lord, this is so small, but I love my brown Tevas I really want to find them. Would you please show me where they are. I know it is really not a big deal, but you love to help don't you?" And I quit looking. Ten minutes later I go to put something away and in the Wii box are my favorite sole mates!!!! "YES God! You care, you love to answer, YES you are aware of every detail no matter how small! YES Your eye is on me." Then I fall into a puddle of tears, "If you care so much about things that are insignificant how can I doubt your care for the things that are huge? I believe, forgive my unbelief." My mind is flooded with things that I have worried about, things I have tried to fix. Things I chose to carry instead of release to Him. I let it go, I tell Him about each of my concerns and I leave them there, in His everlasting hands. Peace and rest enter my heart.

This morning I slipped on my flip flops and gratitude welled up in my heart for those ole shoes, but mostly for the reminded that they will now be to me of my Father's keen awareness of every detail of my life.

Psalm 27

2011-04-05T21:25:00.003-05:00

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" Ps 27:14. This seems to be our song lately. We are waiting. Waiting. Waiting. We spoke with our agency today, we are being included in a staffing on a girl. (that means all the people involved with her are considering us for her family) We need to hear from the Lord. It is hard to try to discern His will. I was so unprepared for this step of the journey. The unknown, the waiting, the wondering...and yet isn't that what these kids have endured for years??? My few months is nothing. So I let my heart take courage and I wait. Fred is amazing through this all. So, steady, so sure of God's good plan.

It seems that the Lord so desires for me to press in and learn to trust when the way is not showing itself to be clear to me. To trust Him that He is active even when things seem dormant. Psalm 1 is a great reminder of the seasons God has for us, all necessary and yet some seem so dead. There are many things that have burdened my heart lately and there seems to be no resolution for any of them, again, I must wait and trust. Trust that He is so good and so kind and so aware of my life and my heart and my longings. Trust that when things seem confusing and unclear that that is only my view, not God's. It is good for me to have to continue to pray and ask my Father for things, it is good to be reminded of my utter dependence on Him. To wake in the morning and run to Him and beg for His action. Oh, how He loves for us to come and beseech HIm and trust Him with child-like faith. Yes, I must run to Him often and request and trust.

Please continue to pray for us as we proceed. We need God's wisdom as we decide on this child. He must lead us. We are lost without Him.

2011-03-21T16:07:00.002-05:00

We got the news today that the boy we were hoping to get is going to be with the family CPA had picked for him. He never knew we existed, so for that I am grateful, that made it easier on him, but we are disappointed. We will continue on our journey trusting God for just the right one.

2011-03-17T21:06:00.002-05:00

As the day comes to a close I am sitting on my back porch listening to the crickets and to someone's chime sing me a lullaby. Today we thought we might hear some news about a child we want but probably won't get. We didn't hear anything yet about him. So, for tonight, I grab my gratitude journal and write.....(I am grateful for..) His timing, that He knows, the cool night breeze, the back porch, daughters who hang with me, orange smoothies, wheelbarrow rides, Bible study, friends who check on me, "I love you"s, anticipation of corporate prayer, safe arrivals, and of course, bright hope for tomorrow. Thanks for praying for us, we need it.

2011-03-10T08:29:00.002-06:00

I thought we should give an update, there is little happening really, but we have submitted on 7 different children (we will only adopt one though). Two boys and 5 girls. We didn't realize this part would take so long, we are anxious to have him/her home with us, but we trust the Lord's timing. Wish there was more to report, but thanks for asking about it and praying for us.

2011-03-01T16:06:00.002-06:00

Well, we got news today that we were too late in submitting our home study on the boy we are interested in adopting. They have already picked a family for him, though it is not a done deal. I am grateful he will have a family soon. We are continuing to pray because the process is not complete and it still could change and then we might have a chance at adopting him. I want God to do what is best for the boy, I was hoping that included him becoming our son. I rest, wait and trust, I know the Lord knows what is best. I am so grateful we have the agency we are working with, they really care for us. Please keep praying for us as we go down this road. Thanks.

Psalm 52:9

2011-02-23T07:20:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a hard day. To read words that signify the evil world we live in, real words conveying the details of a real life. Not some movie or some tale from long ago. Words that reveal what our true nature is apart from Christ. My life has been so different than so many. I have never known the hand of abuse or the mental anguish of abandonment. I have never feared for lack of food or shelter. I have never been alone, never lived alone, never wondered if anyone who notice if I disappeared. I am overwhelmed this morning as I see how gentle and kind that Lord has been to me and I am left wondering why. Why is it that I have had it so easy while some have had it so hard? Why was I given to parents who loved and protected me and others were given to parents who would injure? It makes no sense to me and this morning as I began my devotions, my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude. I am freshly aware that I do not deserve all that I have been given and I am humbled by my heart that thinks at times that I should have more. How can a heart have such contrasting views?? My prayer for today is that I would live today with eyes wide open to God and all of His mercies toward me, that from my lips would come praise and gratitude and not grumbling, that Ps. 52:9 "I will thank you forever" would be my song today, but also that tomorrow when the words of the CPS file fade from my mind, the thanks in my heart would not.

Adoption Stuff

2011-02-22T14:53:00.003-06:00

There is a girl in the Texas foster care system we have been eyeing since October. Last week we submitted our home study for her. Today we heard from her case worker and she sent over some files on this 16 year old and requested more info on us. It was so sad. Unfortunately, she would not be a good fit for our family and we have to reply back that we are not interested in pursuing it any further. This is so hard!!!!!

Our home study is also submitted on a young man, 17, who is a christian and desires to live with a godly family. Our case worker raves about him. We are a little late to jump in on this one, but we will try. We did not think we were interested in a boy, but after hearing about him we decided to at least make an attempt. We doubt it will lead to anything.

Tomorrow we sign final papers. I am not even sure what they are, but we will go to the agency we are using and sign stuff and then wait some more. I didn't expect this part to be so hard. I feel horrible that we have to say no to this child and I am sad that we probably are too late to pursue the boy we heard about. I need to pull away and pray and get back to the place of knowing God has already decided what child we will get and no one and no thing and no timing can change that. I wanted to just pick one and have them home with us soon, even though we have been told it doesn't go that way. I did not want to have to read horrible things that have occurred in a child's life and then say we can't do it. Seeing the effects of sin on a child is hard. If you are a young person and your mom and dad loved God and loved you and tried hard to do a good job parenting, I encourage you to thank God for that daily and don't critique your parents' shortcomings, it could have been so much worse. Just read one CPS file, you will never be the same.

First Submission

2011-02-15T12:41:00.002-06:00

Today we submitted our home study on 2 different girls, one is 16 one is 12. Twelve is younger than we planned, but we are trying to not be closed minded. We only want one, but our case worker said to submit, submit, submit. She also said we will be receiving a ton of emails of children by the end of the week. Please pray that God will lead us to who He has for us.

Due Date

2011-02-14T21:57:00.002-06:00

Well, today was weird. I felt like I was pregnant and it was my due date! I kept waiting for something to happen and nothing happened! No calls, no emails. No word on the adoption, but tonight we decided that tomorrow we will submit our home study for a girl we have been eyeing since October. We have no idea what we will find out about her and if we will continue to pursue her once we get more info, but we have to start somewhere. So, tomorrow, when Fred gets some time, he will call our AFS (the girl who matches us with a child) and tell her we are interested in someone and we will go from there. We are sobered and excited to move on this. Keep praying for our girl!

Adoption Update

2011-02-12T09:25:00.002-06:00

We are now done with all of our training (less one class I need to make up) and our home study is completed and now submitted to the person who will be working to match us to a child. So, as of Monday we are cleared to begin with the process of finding the girl God has for us. This is so exciting to us and yet a bit scary. We really feel our need for God to speak to us and lead us to who He has already planned for us to love. We need your prayers!!! Actually, more than that, we need an army of enlisted prayer warriors; people willing to support us in prayer over the lengthy course of time and an ever-changing list of items for which we will desperately need God to reveal himself. Please consider committing yourself to prayer on behalf of one of "the least of these". At the present time,

Please pray-

1. that God would sovereignly work to bring His perfect choice to our family

1. that we would sense the Holy Spirits prompts as we bumble our way through this

2. that we would walk in boldness and not fear

3. that our new daughters heart would be softened to the Gospel

4. that our hearts would fill with love for her very fast

Fred will also be posting on my blog now. :) You will enjoy that! We will be using the blog as our main source of communicating what is happening with the adoption.

Thanks for supporting us and praying for us. We need you!

missing John today

2011-02-11T08:48:00.001-06:00

I don’t know what is going to happen. I don’t have any idea how life will turn out. I was the one who thinks she needs to know everything before peace can be gained. Not so true anymore. I find myself telling myself, “doesn’t matter what you think, He will do and allow just as He sees fit” and somehow, for some reason, in some way I am growing more comfortable with not knowing. Many times during the day I sent my words to Heaven, “You take it, it’s up to You” and then I nod in surrender. Had I not spoken, He would still take it and He would still rule it, but somehow in the offering I am reminded that I can’t make anything happen and I don’t know how things should be. I think I know how it all should be, but I have seen so many times that my thinking is off kilter.

There are still so many days that I wonder why life was shortened for some. I wanted them to be here longer. To see what I see and to enjoy what I am enjoying. So earthly in thought, I know, but a few more years together, could there be harm? Yet, again, this time with tears I look up and say “You took him, I miss him, they want him here still, but it is up to You. Some day I will know. I will rest for today. I will trust with quiet trust that You work only good for me.”

Then there are days when I want life shorter, that the burdens seem heavy and I gaze off looking for relief from disappointments and fear. Days when Heaven seems so far away and all I want is to be with Him, to sit close and be safe and never have to worry again. Looking up I sigh “You know what is best, I will wait.”

This morning I woke early, earlier than the loved ones, earlier than the sounds of the day and the light of sun. I sat and listened to silence and then unexpectedly I heard the train whistle, the whistle that was no longer to be, the whistle that was outlawed in my city and I smiled...I didn’t expect that to be the first sound I heard this morning, a loved sound to me. I love the train whistle and I have missed it’s presence. And in that silly moment, faith for the day crept in, faith for the future, for I did not expect the whistle, I would have said there will be no more whistle and I would have argued with you that the train whistle in Frisco is a thing of the past, but this morning, while the rest of the world laid closed eyed and unaware, He showed me that He does as He pleases, He controls and hidden in this day are surprises of how aware He is of me and though at times I cannot see it (or hear it), He is always, always showering me with His love and He is always cognizant of my life and He does hold the future in His hand and He is worthy of ever ounce of trust. And I tear up because it is no mistake that 5 minutes after writing that “I miss him” I hear the whistle and the whistle has always reminded me of him.

So, I start this day reminded to look up and surrender, to let go, to hand over all I am grasping, all I think I need to fix, all I want. I pry open my heart and pour out every fear and longing and and knowing and say “You take it Father, You are so much more able, its up to You.” And it comes
like a rush of warm air... rest for my soul.

Open for Adoption

2011-02-10T18:13:00.004-06:00

As of Monday we will be officially an "open for adoption" home, which means a child could be matched with us very, very soon. I am excited and scared to death. The agency will begin on Monday to try to match us with a new daughter. I can't believe we are doing this!

To Give Thanks

2011-02-09T11:02:00.003-06:00

The picture at the top of my blog shows well what Dallas has looked like lately. White, cold, barren, blustery. It is beautiful and empty at the same time. It seems like the world has stopped and nothing is occurring. The city is halted, the schools are closed, we can't drive to Target...what is this place coming to??!!! In a place that sports winter weather that bounces from 50-70 degrees, two weeks of true winter is alarming.

So, I wake this morning to sleet and the wind calling loudly that he is back. The snow falls with great determination as if it has a plan. And I realize I am home to stay today. Another day that the option to go out is not an option. So, I ponder...

When all looks frozen and dormant it there still life? Is it true that shortly the earth will thaw and I will begin to see hues of green pushing up through the dirt. Is it true that the sun will rise higher in the sky and provide longer days and warmer air? Yes, it is true. Even when the eye cannot see activity, God is active. Though I do not have eyes to see all of His activity and all of His continuing of life, I know it is true. I know it because no matter how long the winter or how cold the days, the spring has always come and the colors have always returned. Splashes of color all over. But, oh that I would have eyes to see even when life seems hidden.

That has been my new challenge, to see God in everything and to give thanks. To slow down and savor and LOOK to find Him. Where is His love pouring through to me today? Amidst the sorrows and struggles and moments of hopelessness and fears, where is He the One who calls me "precious in His sight," the One who promises that no matter what befalls me there is joy available, joy unspeakable. Where is He that One that provides the balm of Gilead, the jar for my tears, the words of truth and the sacrifice of ultimate love? I look for Him. He is findable. He longs for me to seek and find! And when I do see Him, I give thanks. Not just for what is before me, but thanks that I get to see Him. I get to see His gifts and in seeing Him and His gifts I am reminded of His infinite love for me. A love that never lets me go.

I have learned that the only thing that prevents me from seeing Him and giving thanks is when my eyes are fixed inward, on me. So, I work to look out, to see beyond, to seek. I work to wonder and think "where is He?" for I know He is near. Like the game of hide and seek I played with Annie Kate this morning, she walks around saying aloud "Where can Mimi be? I know she is here somewhere! Is she under the couch? Is she behind the door? I will find her." And the sweet 2 year old searches until she finds me and then with great delights squeals "I FOUND YOU!!!!" That is how I want to seek Him and that is the response I want to have every time I see Him, I want my response to be "I see You, thank you."

Short Update

2011-02-01T09:03:00.004-06:00

I think it is time for an update. The holiday season came and went so fast. It was one of our simplest Christmases and it was very enjoyable. We had our "Christmas" on Christmas eve morning with our girls and their families, Tyler and Mindy were not with us this year. Then, on Christmas day we flew to Siesta Key, Florida for a week of beach time with Fred's whole family and our girls and theirs. It was a great time to reconnect!

January came and left in a blur. We did everything required for our adoption all in the month of January, less the home study which is this weekend. Then, we enter the matching process. This could be a few days or a few months and then she will be home with us. We are excited, but we are sobered more than anything. I never have seen myself as a dare devil risk taking gal. I like the known things. I like being prepared and everything going according to that plan. This adoption leaves me with so many unknowns. Yet, in the midst of my fears, I hear the voice of God whispering to me to rest and trust. I am utterly dependent on Him. I know I can't do this on my own. I worry about silly things like having to get up early every day to get her to school, or will she be bored with us, or what if she doesn't like my cooking, or what if we are weird to her. The huge things don't seem to enter my mind. Weird, I know.

I have loved seeing what this process is doing to my husband. He is reading, planning, dreaming. He has enough faith for 50 people to adopt. He is so excited and so aware of God's hand and just about every night he speaks words of great courage to me. I love that he is the go getter in this thing. His heart is so tender toward the fatherless, and his desire to do something to help the orphan crisis is so provoking. I love him.

So, if you think of us, please pray. Pray we would know the will of God. Pray we would trust in God alone regardless of how things look, pray we would rest in Him alone.

2010-12-15T16:46:00.002-06:00

I can't express it any better, so I won't even try. This is my prayer for this season....

http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/2010/12/invisible-gifts.html

Advent

2010-12-09T08:08:00.004-06:00

Advent is a season of longing and waiting. God's people longed for their Messiah to come. I have been singing "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" over and over. This morning I sat in our family room, the only lighting was the lights on the mantle and the Christmas tree. I watch the sun rise an light up the sky with color and beauty. I read about the Savior.

Come thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a Child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us for ever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all-sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne

We have done advent devotions and an Advent wreath from time to time, but never has a Christmas come that I felt we did enough to prepare our hearts for Christmas. Busyness creeps in and before you know it we are dealing with wrapping paper and lists and baking and preparing and tiredness. This year I am doing an Advent devotion in the mornings. I am praying each morning for the things we long for...the things only God can give...things far more important than anything on Amazon. I can't even remember what I got as gifts last Christmas, that shows me how unimportant those "needs" really are. If I could make a wish list to give to Jesus maybe it would look like this:

1. That my children would continue to grow more and more like Christ

2. That my grandchildren would come to love the Savior

3. That those who have nothing in this world would somehow see that God loves them and that would bring hope for a better day to come

4. That all the lonely children in the world would be loved by someone and shown the love of the Father

5. That my heart would be broken with the things that break God's heart and

6. That I would be willing to sacrifice it all to be His hands to the broken hearted

7. That joy unspeakable would transform me even in the darkest day

I could go on and on. So, in the early morning, while it is still dark, I have been climbing out of bed and presenting my "wish list" to Jesus. In those moments my heart fills with gratitude for all that He has granted me. My heart breaks for those who do not know Him and for those who are suffering things I read of but can't imagine. My soul longs for Jesus. I so desire to see and know His power and to experience His presence. I so desire to see this broken world find true comfort that only comes from knowing Him.

So, I encourage you to use this Advent season to prepare your heart to celebrate the coming of the Savior of the world. It is not too late to slow down and enjoy all that He has already done. To reflect on the Gift. To wonder what Mary felt. To imagine the faith Joseph exercised. To think of the excitement the shepherds felt. To let go of the things of this world and sing "Come thou long expected Jesus..raise us to thy glorious throne."

Our Next Step

2010-11-09T07:21:00.003-06:00

We went to the conference, Together for Adoption, in the beginning of October. It was so educational as we learned about he growing orphan crisis in the world. If there isn't some quick, radical change in how we view this problem and how we view the orphans and some quick radical change on how we respond, the number of orphans will continue to grow exponentially. right now there are somewhere around 163,000,000 orphans in the world. Many are orphaned due to AIDS.

The conference was not emotionally charged. They did not use manipulation to get you to adopt. Actually, the conference was more about ways Christians can care for orphans, adoption being one option, than it was just about adoption. It was about educating us on the crisis and the avenues of change that are already in place. It was about the local church getting involved in some way, any way.

So we went, looking to see how God would want to use us. We went already praying about children in Zambia. We went wondering if our kids would ever adopt and how we could serve them. We went to see how the two of us could fulfill James 1:27.

What we learned will never fade from us. We came face to face with the fact that Fred and I have not done anything to care for any orphans. We were convicted, but oh so gently, by the Holy Spirit that we need to act in some manner. We learned so much. We both felt such a prompting to find a way to care for the fatherless.

One evening I was very convicted of that we have developed a skewed view of sacrifice. That what we think is generous is not. That we have SO much and yet think we need more. That our suburban life has lulled us to sleep and we have forgotten the needy. I had already been feeling some of that for about a year. But, at the conference I really felt sadness of what I have come to think is normal living. I have more than 99% of the world will ever have. I am accountable for that which has been given to me. Fred says that generosity is measured, not by how much you give, by but how much you sacrifice when you give. I love it. Yes, I want to give sacrificially. I want to live sacrificially.

So, in the practical. We are praying. We have no idea what God is asking us to do. Fred and I have faith for us to just begin walking and see what doors the Lord opens and closes. We have begun the process to be trained to adopt a teenage girl from the foster care system. I don't know if we will end up with another daughter or if God has us in the training to support other families that do. We are looking into how we can support a ministry for Zambian orphans whose base is right here in Frisco. We are praying about going to Zambia next summer. They need men who will commit to go every year to train the boys. Fred would be so good at that. We are also looking into how we could get the children there a college education. $2000 would educate a Zambian kid with four years of college. There are so many ways we could serve. So many ministries that could use help. So many kids that need a home. We are just trying to discern what we are to do. Please pray for us to know the will of God and obey regardless of the cost. I see first hand the beauty of adoption. I have a niece and 2 nephews who were rescued by adoption. Their lives are beautiful pictures of how God has rescued me and called me his own.

I will leave you with a quote from a blogger I enjoy and respect, Heather Hendrick:

"I hope we all remember that we don't adopt because our hearts are stirred by some pictures on the Internet. We adopt because our hearts have been stirred by the gospel. We adopt because Christ invites us to play a part in redeeming all things on this earth. He enables us to extend love, forgiveness, and grace to children who have been hurt, abused, and neglected. Sometimes that's not easy, and it doesn't come natural. Sometimes it takes a lot of work, a lot of repentance, and a lot of forgiveness. We adopt because God loves adoption, and He says to care for the orphan. He says children are a blessing. He says to imitate Him, and thankfully He's adopted a whole heck of a lot of children. We adopt because we have been adopted in spite of all our dysfunction, our rebellion, our anger, and our insecurity. We've been shown grace and mercy, and so we extend grace and mercy.

I pray we ask the Lord what it looks like for each of us...each family...each church to love and care for the orphan in distress. Regardless of how hard it can be, when we care for the orphan, God is inviting us to come face to face with the gospel. He's inviting us to hold it in our laps. Is there any greater gift?"

After Together for Adoption

2010-10-05T17:31:00.003-05:00

So, we went, we listened, we prayed, we cried, we prayed, worshiped, we asked a million questions, prayed, checked out some things, met some people, had great fellowship, prayed, asked more questions. We came home tired, sad, hopeful, convicted and full of faith and yet unsure of the future. We came home completely convinced we are to take action and yet not convinced we know what that will look like. We haven't stopped talking about it and we are thinking even more!

There are 163 MILLION orphans in the world! The number is growing exponentially due to HIV/AIDS. The cycle will continue unless the church steps up and rescues the fatherless. It is the church who is supposed to care for these. God is passionate about the fatherless. Look at these scriptures

Ex 22:22 "You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child."

Deut 10:18 ""He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Deut 14:29 "And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do."

Deut 26:12 "“When you have finished paying all the tithe of your produce in the third year, which is the year of tithing, giving it to the Levite, the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, so that they may eat within your towns and be filled,"

Ps 68:5 " Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation."

Ps 82:3 "Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute."

Ps 146:9 "The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin."

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

He is passionate about the fatherless, we must take what God is passionate about and make it our pursuit. That does not mean that I think every christian is to adopt a child or two. I think some will be called to adopt. Some will be called to provide finances, some will be called to pray, some will be called to babysit while an adoption family gets training or has to travel, some will serve as an advocate, some will foster children, the list goes on and on. We will all have different functions, but in all honesty I don't think anyone of us can sit out. This is not a preference like schooling choices, sports vs. music or what kind of church we attend. All believers are called to care for orphans. James makes it very clear.

I realize that I have just return for a weekend where all I heard about was how the church can care for orphans, but God actually began speaking and stirring my heart about this last year. The conference only confirmed what the Spirit has been leading us in.

For us personally, we are open to anything. We will pursue a home study just to be prepared. It breaks our heart that kids age out of our U.S. foster system and have no where to go on their birthday. This is in America, not some far away land. So, we wonder if we should rescue those who will soon be alone and destitute. Fred was very intrigued by Tom Davis and with The Abba Fund Ministry. We both feel drawn to serve with Every Orphan's Hope, a locally based ministry that cares for orphans in Zambia. I just want to do something. I can be tempted to think we are older and have missed our chance to make a difference, but I think that is a lie the enemy would love for me to believe and stay in. Lies can paralyze us. I must hear the truth and act on it. We must face this issue and respond how the Lord leads us. Most of all, we must bring the Gospel to the least of these. To meet their physical needs and not share the Gospel is wrong, Jesus Christ is the only hope for all of us. I am not the answer to the orphan crisis, Jesus is. He is enough!

Just Might Make It!!

2010-09-13T08:36:00.005-05:00

Every January I set out with new goals and ideas that usually don't last. I am not even going to look back to see what I decided to try this past January. I am sure, since I can't even remember them, I have not accomplished them. I know I am not any thinner, which was probably a goal!! BUT!!!! There is one thing I am accomplishing. I started a new Bible reading plan in January and I am still on course 3/4th's of the way through the year. I have never been able to keep up with reading plans and get discouraged and feel like I need a week away to catch up, but for some reason, this one felt do-able and I have loved it. I have waited this long to blog about it because I wanted to see if I would really stick to it. I think I might just make it to the end and actually finish this plan!!!! It is called "Engage Scripture." It was put together by Darrin Patrick, who has been all over the Internet lately due to his new book about Church Planting and his video about manhood. Anyway, I did not know anything about him when I found the plan, I just chose the plan because it looked like it would work for me.

This plan takes you through the Bible in a year. 2 OT readings a day and 1 NT reading a day. It has built-in days off every 3 days, so that if I fall behind I can catch up pretty easily. I downloaded the PDF file and printed it and keep it in my Bible. Here is the link for it: http://journeyon.net/engage/scripture/reading

Click on the "Engage Scripture Reading Program" and then it comes up in a nice chart format.

There are extra things this site will do for you, great explanations of scripture, videos etc. I did not use them, though I may this coming year. I really found the simple reading plan enough for me.

I realize that at this time of the year you are probably not looking for a new plan, but January will be here soon and I may forget to write about this!!

Thoughts on Corporate Worship

2010-08-01T10:11:00.001-05:00

"In the Bible, the glory of God refers to God’s “heaviness,” his powerful presence. It’s God’s prevailing excellence on display. The glory of God is the “augustness” of God—an old term conveying his awe-inspiring majesty. In fact, one reason why Christians in the Roman Empire were persecuted is that they refused to use the word august for the emperor—such a description belonged to God alone, they said. They understood that there is a transcendent majesty unique to God. This high and lifted up greatness of God is what Isaiah encountered—a God who is majestically and brilliantly in command.

All this means we ought to come to worship expecting first and foremost to see God. We come to encounter his glory, to be awe struck by his majesty. A worship service isn’t the place to showcase human talent but the place for God to showcase his divine treasure. We gather not to be impressed by one another—how we sound, what we wear, who we are—but to be impressed by God and his mighty acts of salvation. We come to sing of who he is and what he’s done. We come to hear his voice resounding in and through his Word. We come to feel the grief of our sin so that we can taste the glory of his salvation. We gather to be magnificently defeated, flattened, and shrunk by the power and might of the living God.

This is in stark contrast to the world’s insistence that the bigger we get and the better we feel about ourselves, the freer we become. That’s why many worship services have been reduced to little more than motivational, self-help seminars filled with “you can do it” songs and sermons. But what we find in the gospel is just the opposite. The gospel is good news for losers, not winners. It’s for those who long to be freed from the slavery of believing that all of their significance, meaning, purpose, and security depend on their ability to “become a better you.” The gospel tells us that weakness precedes usefulness—that, in fact, the smaller you get, the freer you will be. As G.K. Chesterton wrote, “How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it.” Nothing makes you more aware of your smallness and life’s potential bigness than encountering the glory of God in worship. Corporate worship services in the church today desperately need to recover a sense of God’s size!" Tullian Tchividjian

Such a great reminder as I get ready to go to church and worship!

"Remember the Wonderous Works He has Done" 1 Chronicles 16:12

2010-07-29T08:12:00.004-05:00

I woke this morning at 4 am to a horrible headache. They come in the night and make me want to puke. I was laying there thinking how it hurt too much to get up and get some medicine and then I said out loud "Please God, take it away. I can't take it. This week has been hard enough!" I got up, took a pill, drank coffee, had Fred rub my head and by 7:30 it was gone. But, the discouragement wasn't. This past week my stomach hasn't been doing well again, hard to keep any food in me and my dizziness has been worse. I have battled feeling overwhelmed as the Dr. says "I am not sure how to help you."

I began my morning with checking out some blogs. Then I come to one I check each week. A young family with a 6 year old who has brain cancer. I am leveled. My issues become light and momentary. My "suffering" becomes just an inconvenience. In light of what others are facing today, I have a great lot in life. In light of what has been already done for me, what more do I need?? I begin to thank God for so much. I start with my kids. They all love God. That alone is mind boggling. Then, I recall my life just 2 years ago, almost every night sitting by Meg's bed as her body seized and we prayed. She has now had only 3 or 4 seizures this year! A miracle and an act of grace. I recall the news of infertility and then I watch a video of Violet and Augie laughing...tears pour down my face...miracles. I look at Annie with cupcake all over her face and can't help but laugh at her exuberance for life and I hear her voice in my head yelling "ullo....Mimi I here!" I watched videos of Jack that Mindy sent this week, I watch them for the 100th time and cry as he coos and smiles at his Mama. Leveled that I would complain of a headache when I have been given so much.

It is so easy to see what I don't have. So easy to want something else. So easy to think God has overlooked a "need." For me, the medicine I need is to recall. To look back and recall all that He HAS done. To speak thanks for everything I have and everything I have experienced. To speak aloud the mercies of God. I am making a list today of where I see His kindness and keeping it close at hand. I choose, by the power of the Holy Spirit to be content and grateful, whatever my lot, that my soul will be joyful and content.

"Contentment comes by comparing what we have to what our sins deserve." Dave Harvey

I Am Not Crazy!!!

2010-07-14T12:45:00.005-05:00

I went to the Pharmacy yesterday to get a prescription filled for medication for my vertigo. The pharmacy tech took it and went to do something behind the counter. She whispered to the pharmacist a few words and then came back to me and said "I am so sorry, I don't want to upset you but we cannot filled this until tomorrow. We do not have the generic on hand." I replied "That's fine. I can wait." I walked away wondering why she was so apologetic and why she thought I would be upset. Then I realized....the script was for 90 tablets of Valium!!!! I think she thought I was seriously mentally unstable!!! hahhahha

Next Step??

2010-07-13T19:51:00.004-05:00

I don't know when it all started. The first time I felt a burden for orphans was when we lived in Cleveland. I remember sitting on the floor of the living room talking to Fred and then deciding we would contact Bethany Christian Services in the near future to learn about Korean adoptions. About a week later I found out that I was pregnant with our third child, the other kids had just turned 1 and 2, so we decided we had enough on our plate for now. The next time it came up we began to investigate adopting a boy from Romania, we were in Virginia at this point. I don't remember what stopped us, but something did. Then in Denver the idea of a Russian adoption crossed our path, but we were getting ready to move to Dallas, so we needed to wait and then the opportunity was no longer there. It has been a desire of ours to adopt and yet we never did it. I trust in God's sovereignty, but that may be one of those things I regret when I am old.

So, fast forward to this year. Some friends begin to tell us that they have a burden for orphan care and they are trying to figure out what to do, they didn't necessarily feel called to adopted, but were sensing a call to widows and orphans. I remember listening to Cate share the burden God had put on her heart and thinking "That is so cool how God is moving...too bad we are to old to be a part of this stuff." Then, suddenly, my husband tells me that him and some guys are meeting with a guy who runs Every Orphans Hope, a local ministry that cares for orphans in Africa. The next thing you know, we are praying about going to Zambia this summer. We quickly concluded that my health was not in a place for me to be able to do that trip and Fred felt strongly that we either went together or we stayed home. We stayed home, but the passion grew. And then we discovered there were others in our church feeling a similar stirring.
The more I prayed the more it grew, the more I read the more it grew and even as I would play with my grandkids my heart was breaking for those who didn't have a family.

My sister, Barb, came to visit in March and she has adopted 2 children. She has a burden for orphan care alongside her passion for adoption. We had conversations about how the local church could care for orphans and offer practical help and share the Gospel. I was so aware that many are trying to care for orphans but if all we do is care for them in the physical way and we don't present the Gospel, then we have failed. The Gospel is the ONLY hope for any of us!

Then Hosanna went to an Christian Alliance for Orphans conference in Minneapolis and came home with a boatload of information for us. We took some of the CD's from the conference with us when we drove to see Jack Jack. Oh, our hearts were stirred even more. Our passion for the local church and our growing passion for orphans were coming together and I felt like I was going to burst at times. It was so so exciting to see God working in both of us at the same time.

There is so much more to this odyssey than what I have written, but it is too hard to explain it all. What I hope I conveyed is the overall gist of what is happening. In October we will go to Together for Adoption with the hopes of learning how to build an orphan care ministry in local churches with the hope that God would make a way for our very own church to be able to do something at some point and with the hopes of learning how Fred and I can make a difference for a few kids. Who knows what will be? Maybe it will just be that we just pray daily for those children, but maybe, just maybe there is something more for us to do.

Please pray for us as we learn about all of this. I can feel so excited and a bit overwhelmed. It is thrilling to feel the activity of God occurring and to feel the sense of anticipation that he is leading and we are not sure where we are heading. Isn't serving God great??!!!!!!

Long Over Due

2010-06-25T07:33:00.003-05:00

Well, it has been about 6 months since I blogged. It seems that with facebook blogs are falling behind, but I like blogs so much better. I am going to try to keep mine up, we will see.

There is too much to catch you up on since January, so I will just highlight a few things. We have a new grandson, Jack. He was born May 9th and we have been able to make 2 visits. The first one was on the day he was born and then we went back about 2 weeks later and spent a day in Denver and then a few days in Breck with Tyler and Mindy. It was wonderful!

Meg and I made a trip to New York City at the beginning of June. We got to see my family and many sights in the city. It was so fun to be there and explore.

One of the big things happening in our lives is that Fred and I are praying about what we do in this next season of life. It is easy to grow older and fade out, we want to finish well and strong. We feel like the Lord may be calling us to get involved in orphan care, not to actually adopt, but to find ways to care for the vulnerable. We have a ton of ideas and roads to choose from, the question is, which path does the Lord have for us? How do we give our lives away to the ones that have no one? It is exciting and scary. I feel the same sense of anticipation and trepidation I have felt in the past when we were praying about going on church plants. I find myself thinking in new ways and examining my life by new measures. This life here is short and the pleasure of this world are fleeting, I don't want to cling to those things when there are children who need to hear the gospel and know the love of Jesus. "Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." (Psalm 82:3-4) I will write more on this as God leads us. In October we are attending a conference, Together for Adoption, to learn more about what we can do through our local churches to care for those who have no mommy and daddy to love and protect them. I will keep you posted.

Happy New Year!!!!

2010-01-10T18:30:00.002-06:00

So a new year comes and with it comes the desire to start fresh on some things, get order to some things and change some things!

From the practical side of life I am getting organized this year. Every corner of this house will be subject to being overhauled or gotten rid of. I am working already on a new home management plan that I think will be great for my season, I have begun to organize and purge and feel freer already and the weekly schedule is printed in pretty colors and posted. I even made a pretty envelope thingy to hold my cash in its categories! And the meal planning system is next! I do not feel overwhelmed but instead feel like adding these systems will make my life simpler and that is what I am aiming for.

From the personal side of things, I feel like the Lord has really been helping me be loosened from things I have held to tightly to this past years. my fears, my plans, my hopes, my agdendas. As I have seen friends and family deal with many heartbreaking difficult things I find myself accepting the fact that we live lives that take many twists and turns and we travel up many hills and down into many valleys but the sovereign God will never leave us and will always be about our good. I know I am not immune to the same things happening to me. I have no guarantee that tomorrow everyone I love will still be here or that their will be unity and peace in my little world. I have seen may go through these types of trials and I know it can happen to me, but I have found that I worry less now and pray more. The book "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller changed my life and there is no exaggeration there. I am desperate for God and therefore I pray. If I don't pray, it shows that I think I am in control and don't need him. I find the personal conveniences that I would have called "needs" are just conveniences and I can do without. I want to live a life that is spent on dying to myself that others may feel his love. I want my life known for living all for His glory.

I know this year has some interesting things ahead for us. We are already strategizing and praying. I hold all my dreams and desiring loosely, I trust my God will have his way in us and no good thing will he withhold. I hope that when I write my last entry for the year in 2010 there is fruit to these thoughts, otherwise they will be like so many other empty New Year's resolutions. I believe there will be because I believe what I am feeling is a work of the Holy Spirit in me. I want to care less about me and more about Him. Does it really matter if I am right about something? Does it really matter if I get that item I was hoping for? Does it really matter if you make a mistake and offend me? When I get to see my Savior will I really care what happened down here? Life on this earth is but a blink of the eye. I want to live for the life that never ends. By the grace of God I hope I do.

2009-11-21T06:41:00.003-06:00

Last night I went to see "The Blind Side." It was great! I was challenged to think about how I live in this suburban lifestyle I have come to be so comfortable with. This has been a theme this past year in my heart. I find myself desiring to let go of the things of this world and live more for the World that will be my home for much longer than this earth ever will be. I remember someone likening Heaven to an airport. You are just passing through, it has a purpose but you are not at your final destination so don't expect it to feel like home. Anyway, as I watched the movie, I felt the stirring again. I was aware that though I was in "unplug" mode, God was not and He was stirring away. I found myself being challenged to think about what I would have done in the situation Sandra Bullock was in. Am I willing to care for strangers and open my home to those in need? Do I sacrifice my own comfort or conveniences for the sake of someone else? Would I be willing to part with earthly things for the benefit of others, not just give out of my surplus, but really sacrifice and do without so that someone else doesn't have to? How far am I willing to allow God to use me? My path in life doesn't seem to bring me to places where people are in great need, after all, I live in Frisco, Texas, but I am convinced that is only how it seems. I am sure that if I were to really look I could find many who are needing something I can offer. I am not sure what God is up to here, but I know I want to be found faithful. While I live here I want to have my gaze on the Kingdom that will not fade , making sure that I don't miss the opportunity to entertain angels unaware.

Catch-Up

2009-11-02T12:53:00.005-06:00

Here is the run down of our crazy life. We took some time to go to Denver in August to attend Marybeth Longtine's wedding. While we were there we spent some time at a condo in Breckenridge. Did I already blog about that trip? I don't think so, if I did skip ahead...anyway. Steve and Janis met us in the mountains for a few days of fun and wonderful conversation. It was not enough time to talk about all I wanted to, but a true gift from God just the same. Then, when they left for home, Fred and I had a couple of days of relaxing together before we headed to Tyler and Mindy's house. Once we were back in Denver we hit the ground running. We were busy, busy and then we watched in awe as beautiful Marybeth vowed to love Ben for her whole life! What a privilege to watch. We have known MB since she was 2. Feel like she is one of ours. After all the festivities it was home again.

In coming home, we began a crazy schedule where we had committed to something 5 out of the 7 days of the week. We are in nonstop mode!! One thing we added was the Dave Ramsey class. (Actually, I now dropped out, but Fred is continuing.) It has been great and I recommend everyone take it. I also had the pleasure of going to Phoenix in Sept. for 5 days. It was great to see Janis AGAIN!! We shopped and ate and laughed and cried and just thanked God for the gift of friendships!

Then, in October, I went to Minneapolis, see earlier blog, and now I am staying home until Erin's baby comes,which is very soon now!!!

This weekend Meg gets her wisdom teeth pulled and my mother in law and sisters in law come to visit!!!!!

Looking forward..the new baby is due in 11 days! Thanksgiving will be very traditional here including the girls tradition of Black Friday shopping! Annie will have her first birthday and then Tyler and Mindy come for Christmas!!

Ok, now that we are caught up we can dig in next time!!

100th Birthday!!!!

2009-10-27T22:51:00.003-05:00

Last weekend I had the joy of going to Minneapolis with Callie and Annie to celebrate my Grandma's 100th birthday! 100 years old! Isn't that amazing? My Grandma Frances still lives on her own and is of sound mind! It was so great to see her play with Annie and sing a little rhyme to her that I remember from my own childhood! Every time I leave Minnesota I think "I will probably never see Grandma again" yet, I am always wrong! What a gift to me from God that my grandma gets to see her great, great grand kids!

A Praying Life

2009-10-15T07:28:00.003-05:00

Wow! Blogs seem to be being ignored these days! I guess FB is taking over,but I like blogs better! I am going to try to keep up better. I wanted to recommend a book I have been reading over and over since June. It is "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller. I cannot tell you how much this book has helped me, it has become one of my top 3 books of all time!! I have never found myself praying so much and with such freedom and joy. I am more aware of God's presence through out the day and more aware of His power. Everyday I have a new quote from the book, here is today's..."When Jesus tells us to believe, he isn't asking us to wok up some spiritual energy. He is telling us to realize that we don't have the resources to do life. When you know that you can't do life on your own, then prayer makes complete sense." It is an easy read, short chapters and truly life changing. I find myself praying through out the day and the result of that is a calmer, less anxious heart. Grab the book and start it now and let me know what you think.

In other news, I leave today to go see my Grandma who is turning 100 on Friday. She has not met Annie yet, so so Callie and the baby are going too! I am so looking forward to seeing my parents and some of my family.

This fall has been crazy, we took on more than we should have, but we are surviving. Fred is building a roof over our patio, we got some new furniture for the family room, we are doing the Dave Ramsey thing, we have had company and more to come and of course, Erin's baby is due in a month!! Then, the holidays and then in January I think I need to go to Hawaii!

Off I go to the Arctic cold after wearing shorts yesterday.....

We WON!!!

2009-09-20T21:06:00.003-05:00

Today Violet, Meg and I went to Alex's Luau! Violet and I won the best dressed contest! Violet loved her "party dress." Though, she let me know that Crocs are NOT glass swippers!

2009-09-19T22:04:00.002-05:00

My Sweet Annie

2009-08-22T21:52:00.002-05:00

This is one joy I experienced this week!!!! Isn't she so sweet!!

Good Morning!!

2009-08-20T08:04:00.002-05:00

Wow, summer is almost gone. It seems like it was just May and now I am already thinking about autumn! We were really busy this summer with two long trips, a bit of company and of course, softball. I am looking forward to the fall. Even though I no longer home school, the fall is the "get back in the groove" season for me,

The first place I am going to get back to a routine is in meal planning and cooking. The summer gave way to lots of grilling and simple meals, but often they were made from whatever was around. I recently watched the movie "Julie & Julia" and decided to get back on track. So, here is the deal. I am going to plan my September menu to include 16 new meals. I have a pile of recipes I have been wanting to try so this is a great opportunity. I will blog my progress, though not daily like the girl in the movie!

Another way that I think I will have more order is in my budget. Fred and I are going to the Dave Ramsey "Financial Peace University" seminar each week. Actually, it starts tonight. (so, I am going shopping today before I turn over a new leaf ;) ). I am sure this material will be provoking.

Well, look for some new recipes to be posted and maybe a few bargain ideas!

Psalms for July 13th

2009-07-13T08:38:00.005-05:00

Wow, my blog needs some updating. The picture looks like winter! Maybe I will get to it soon!

This morning I was reading the Psalms for the day 13, 43, 73, 103, 133. I felt as though the Lord came and sat with me and chatted. I slowly read each Psalm and felt His nudge and tried to apply what I was learning...

Ps. 13:6 "I will sing to the Lord, because He had dealt bountifully with me." Yes, I will sing. Regardless of how things look or feel, the Lord HAS dealt bountifully with me. He has traded my ashes in for beauty. He is always near and hears me. He causes all things, even my sins and other's sins to work for my good. He knows the future and He gives me peace to trust His plan.

Ps. 43:5 "Why are you downcast, oh my soul,and why are you in turmoil within me? HOPE IN GOD!!!" Yes, when confusion and turmoil surround me I must stop and declare the attributes of God and put my hope there. This is something I must discipline myself to do many times a day since I have an overactive mind and a worrisome heart. As I hope in God, and again I have to keep going back to this, the turmoil ceases and peace comes and then hope follows again.

Ps. 73:26 "My heart and my flesh may fail, but GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." My heart and my flesh have failed many times, left to me it will continue, but it is not left to me. God is a Redeemer, He rescues by heart from this trap and gives me strength to fight the good fight. He is enough for me. He is all I need.

Ps. 103:8 "The Lord is merciful and gracious" Yes, He is. He continues to forgive me, uphold me, comfort me, encourage me, teach me, help me, carry me and lavish His affection on me regardless of my failures. His mercy cheers my heart each morning, fresh and new it pours down from Him to me. His mercy grants me rest from turmoil and strength to serve Him.

I am more aware today of how much I need my Savior than I was yesterday. Each new day I am one day closer to seeing Him and each new day I am more aware of how much more I want to see Him. What an incredible God we get to worship and serve!

P.S. had time to change my template!!

Gimme It!!!!

2009-06-29T11:08:00.002-05:00

"And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came up to him and said to him, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." Mark 10:35

I laughed out loud! Imagine the thoughts Jesus must have had. Did he smirk and feel like I have when the kids would say "Mom do you promise to say "yes" to what we are going to ask you??" Every mom knows that they are for sure going to say "no" to whatever it is, if we were going to say "yes" we wouldn't have to make the promise to say "yes."

So, I was chuckling at these 2 guys and then of course, I begin to see myself in them. Though I do not actually use those same words, I think it is often the posture of my heart. I want what I want, what I think is best. I want my prayers answered now and in the manner I find most pleasing. How many times have I prayed "Lord, Please just do this......(fill in the blank)"? Oh, the gentle sting comes and I realize that I think I know what is best. I am reminded, again, that His will is perfect and so is His timing. That I really want His will, not what I think will work. I realize how often my prayers are self-centered and narrow. I trade God's big, great, amazing Kingdom for my tiny, narrow wish. I think God has so much more for us than we could ever ask or imagine, why would I try to limit that by deciding what I think I want. I think I would be much better off to pray "Lord, because you love me so much and desire to pour out your kindness to me, take this situation and do as you please. I know you have a great plan, better than any plan I can conjure up. I can't wait to see what you do!!"

Where is my Sweet Annie??

2009-06-20T21:55:00.003-05:00

Callie and Tim had the nerve to go on vacation shortly after we were on vacation and they will be gone for about a week and a half only to return for a couple days and go again! So, that means that for a month or so I will hardly get to see my Sweet Annie. It took her a bit of time to remember who we were after our trip. Dang, I should have sent some photos of myself along for Callie use as flashcards to help Annie remember me every now and again!

Anyway, on Thursday I babysat Annie for a bit and she was so cheery the whole time. Big wide grins and all sorts of vocals! I think she will be a singer and an athlete. She is so amazingly strong!!

Anyway, on Thursday we just played together and I am so grateful for those few hours I had with her before they left. I have looked at my pictures a gazillion times since then! But, oh do I miss her!

I realize how blessed I am to have both Annie and Violet here. I cannot imagine how hard it will be to be apart from Tyler and Mindy's baby. I am sure we will make many more trips to Denver!

Well, enjoy the pics of our Annie! I sure will!

They Really Work!

2009-06-18T13:55:00.003-05:00

Ok, I am not usually one to try things that are on infomercials, but I did. Actually, I first heard about Green Bags from a friend. She raved about how long her produce lasted in these bags, I was not convinced. Then one day, I was roaming Target and saw the bags on an endcap. HHMM, $10 for a few plastic bags. Not a bargain in my eyes, but for some reason I bought them. I figured I could bring them back if I didn't think they worked. Well, they work marvelously! I could do the infomercial. My romaine lettuce is over 2 weeks old and it is still as fresh as the day I bought it. My strawberries have lasted forever. These bags work and they are reusable! I think everyone should run out to Target!!! Wish I owned stock in this company!

God is My Helper!!

2009-05-15T09:30:00.010-05:00

This last Sunday I missed church. Fred had taken me away for a night to celebrate my birthday. It is my practice to listen to several messages each week, usually Driscoll, Piper and Keller, but sometimes others, but I wanted to hear what Craig preached so I went there first. It was amazing, I listened to it twice in a row!! His message was not just for moms, though many of the examples were mother related, but Craig taught out of Psalm 121 (one of my favs). I was so encouraged by his 3 points...

1. My "helper" is the CREATOR of the earth, if He was able to create everything then He can handle my situation

2. My Helper will keep me and my children at all times

3. He is my Helper in ALL circumstances

At all times, in all places and in all circumstances God keeps us.

I want to ask you to please listen to this message(click on the word "message"). It is filled with hope and truly is one of the best mother/parent/women messages I have ever heard. I plan on listening to it again today!

I encourage you today to lift your eyes to the hills, for that is where our help comes from, the MAKER of Heaven and earth!! Let me know what you think after you listen!!!!

2009-05-03T12:49:00.002-05:00

It has been so long...and I still have very little to interest you with. I will fill you in on what has been going on and then you will agree.

We did go to Denver for Easter. I was great having all of our kids and grandkids together for a few days. We just hung around for 4 days at Tyler and Mindy's house and they feed us! Mindy did an incredible job in the food prep arena and stayg relaxed as we trash her home and even pulled off an amazing Easter feast. The time went way too fast and then we had to say goodbye again..I hate that part of loving people so much. I hate being so far away from them.

Fred and I drove to Denver. We were making our way along just fine except that I was complaining about the lack of bathrooms along the route we took. (If you know me you know this is important!! haha) We finally came to a rest area that looked from the untrained eye to be just fine....until we got closer....there were signs posted reading "Warning, Beware of Snakes!!!" I decided that I am never drinking anything in the car ever again and then we will never need to stop! I, also, decided at that point that I like flying better. I flew home.

The rest of the month has been quiet. We are busy with our care group that has grown to be quite large now. Meg is going back to school in the fall. Fred is busy making our back yard gorgeous and it really is so beautiful. Violet comes regularly to entertain us and play in the yard. Annie is just so sweet. She had really become her own little person, making noises, laughing etc. The girls are so cute..just go to Erin and Callie's blogs to confirm.

We went camping with some families from our church and it was wonderful. We camped up at a lake close to home and got to kayak a bit though it was windy on the water and you really had to work hard. The weather was perfect camping weather, warm during the day and cool at night. Next time I will remember to close all the valves on the air mattress and I bet we will like it even better :).

We are looking forward to a DC trip for a wedding and then down to Virginia Beach for another wedding. Then, to Colorado for the long awaited wedding of Mary Beth Longtine! It will be fun to be able to attend all of these occasions and celebrate with these girls that we love so much. Meg will be with us for all of them, which is always a treat for me as she is busy and I often don't get to see her as much as I would like.

Ok, now that you now agree that my life is lacking in interest, I will end. I hope to have something exciting to write about soon!! :)

2009-03-31T22:22:00.003-05:00

"Oh, how abundant is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you....
In the cover of your presence you hide them
from the plots of men;
you store them in your shelter
from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the Lord,
for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me" Ps. 31

I have spent the day going back to Ps.31 over and over. I have found great comfort in these truths of scripture, but tonight as I was listening to my audio guy read this Psalm I felt faith rising up in me as these verses were read and reread. God's goodness is abundant (present in great quantity, fully sufficient; plentiful; in copious supply), and He stores His goodnesses up for us and protects them with His presence and no one and no thing can change the good things God has for us. No failure on my part or someone else's, no plans or schemes of men can change the goodness God has already planned for me. Isn't that an amazingly comforting truth???!!! It silences all the what ifs and all the if onlys and it takes my eyes off of the situations and places them on the Lord. There are many twists and turns in this life that we never would have expected, but they cannot and will not prevent the Lord's goodness from overflowing to us and nothing can stop Him from being steadfast with His love toward us. Nothing.

Help!!

2009-03-31T19:29:00.003-05:00

I need your help!! I used to have a computer program entitled "Mangia" (eat in Italian) that I had my recipes in. With this program I could plan my meals and print out my grocery list. But, that was over 10 years ago and I no longer have it and it is not made anymore. Does anyone use a program where you can input your recipes, plan meals and have it generate your grocery list?

Also, just 9 more days till we get to see Tyler and Mindy!!! WOOHOO!!

2009-03-16T13:20:00.006-05:00

This past month has been fun for us due to a steady rotation of company. I love having people come stay with us and so I have been really enjoying the past weeks as one guest after another arrives. In February the Shanks came for a real visit, no work involved!!! We just hung out, shopped, ate, played and chatted. They got to meet our sweet Annie and got to know Violet better. It is always so great to have someone stay with you who knows you well. I love coffee in the morning just sitting in PJ's visiting with a dear, lifelong friend. Here is Janis with my baby girls:
After the Shanks left, we had several different waves of singles come for various reasons. Then My mom and dad came at the same time that our niece Becca came to visit. The weather had been gorgeous for about 2 weeks and then it rained and was cold the whole time they were here! But, they came for family fun and that is what they got. we all hung out everyday enjoying the little girls. It was their first time seeing Annie! Violet warmed up right away which was a huge treat. Mom and Dad took her to ride the carousel and to the Disney Store. It was so cute to see how excited a 21 month old can get over horsies and Mookey House (mickey mouse). We hung out and had dinner together every night and played lots of games. I loved having them here. Now, we have a 10 day break and then more guests! It is truly a delight to be able to have people come and enter into our lives with us. Beeeeg Papa and Annie

Becca and V

Relentless Grace

2009-03-04T07:38:00.004-06:00

Since the middle of January, our church (Grace Church of Frisco), has been in a series on the relentless grace of God. We are studying the the book of Genesis, the lives of the patriarchs. Over and over we are seeing how, regardless of human failure, God's grace triumphs and accomplishes the will of God. Every week the main message is the same and yet every week I am freshly aware of God's grace as if it is all new to me. Week after week I am awed that in spite of me, God's will will continue to be accomplished in my life and the lives of others and even my sin will not thwart His plan.

Here are 2 thoughts I have meditated on that were in my notes:
"No sin can stop the grace of God. He works through the sinful choices of man. The way of God will not be explained, it is to make us marvel at God's plan."
"God uses sinful man to fulfill His redemptive purpose. Mercy triumphs over sin."

My thinking says "You erred and so now things will not go according to the good plan of God."
God's character says "I knew you would sin, my will goes forth in spite of it. I am good and powerful and I will have my way."

God's grace IS relentless (persistent, never ceasing). He never stops working and acting on our behalf. He knows we are frail and weak and yet, He still delights to carry about His good plan for us. Isn't it so reassuring to know that we are not as powerful as we thought and we don't have to rely on our own successes and isn't it comforting to be reminded of how incredibly amazing God's grace is?

Springtime work!

2009-02-16T18:44:00.004-06:00

It has been a very mild winter this year and I think spring is almost here! We have enjoyed getting the yard cleaned up a bit and ready for us to be out there more often. Today we had our helper Violet over to help plat some new pansies. She loves to smell the flowers and play in the dirt. I just love her!

On Fridays I have Annie Kate for most of the day. She is so sweet with her smiles and her giggles that require so much work! Friday she was especially cute as she tried to spit at us!! Her tongue is sticking out as she imitates me doing raspberries!!! I could not imagine life without her!!!

Swagbucks

2009-02-11T22:31:00.003-06:00

I have been using Swagbucks as my search on the internet lately. You earn points for using them. After 50 or so points you cash them in for gift cards or items. In a week I earned a Starbucks gift card. If you want to earn something for your time online use the link I have here to learn more!

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=329815

Just Another Day for an Old Mimi!!

2009-02-10T06:34:00.006-06:00

So, this morning I woke before the Fred's alarm went off and while it was still dark. I quietly got out of bed, grabbed my glasses off the night stand, put on my slippers and headed to make the coffee. I slipped into the kitchen and turned on the pendant lights that are over the island and the first thought that comes to me is "Ahh, soft lighting is so nice in the morning." I, then, proceed to make the coffee. Then, I decide to load a few dishes and clean up from our family night the night before....second thought "Did I forget to take my contacts out last night? My vision is so blurring (happens if you wear your glasses and your contacts at the same time). No, I remember taking them out. Boy, I need to get new glasses, I cannot see." I, then, head to grab my Bible, sit down and open....I can't see, it is blurry and dark....yes folks for 10 minutes I walked around wearing regular, old, Walmart sunglasses!! I laughed so hard at myself...just wish someone was awake to have seen it all.....

Oh, and by the way, if you are doing the the fighter verse for this week, it is Deut. 6:4-5, a basic one that we probably already know..but maybe simple is good for me this week!!

Fighter Verse

2009-02-02T12:38:00.003-06:00

Romans 14:13

"Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide to never put a
stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother."

I decided to use Tim Challies' fighter verses for my memorization this year. He emails it on Monday. You can choose either a verse a week program or one that memorizes larger pieces of Scripture over a longer period of time. I am a wimp, I chose the short ones, but I will not despise the day of small beginnings! If you want to join me, let me know. It would be fun to know who is doing it!

Thy Word Have I (want to have) Hid In My Heart

2009-01-28T09:10:00.005-06:00

As I began this New Year, I listened to some teachings on basic biblical disciplines. Piper is a great source, at the end and beginning of each year, for teaching on prayer and the Word. I was freshly provoked to pray more by his teaching on Dec. 28th and then very provoked to work on scripture memorization on the following week's teaching. In it, John Piper recites Scripture by memory for probably 20 minutes maybe more! Amazing! I am sure he could have gone on longer. I would have lasted about 90 seconds and all of mine would have been like "children obey your parents.." I recently studied Ps. 119. There are many verses in this one chapter, that teach the importance of and power in knowing God's word.

I, also, have often recalled a story my dear friend Arlynn told me many years ago. She shared with me that as her grandma's health was declining and her mind fading, the word of God was coming forth from her grandma's mouth. Arlynn challenged me to consider the thought that some day we may not have full control of what we say (as if I do now!) and what is in our hearts will surely come out. I shutter to think of every thought of mine being laid bare for all to hear. But, if it is God's word that is stored in our hearts, then what a blessed time that will be. For when I can no longer think clear enough to watch my words and my thoughts flow into words regardless of what they are, I want my words to honor the Lord.

I, also, think of the great benefit it would be to me right now to have God's word ever with me to equip, guide, comfort and defend. If every time I had a condemning thought, a worry, and unkind judgment etc. I faced it with the Word, think of the victories that would occur. Sin would be stopped dead in its tracks. Instead of all the things I could think about, I would think of how great and mighty my God is. How kind and sovereign He is. How He has given me everything I need for life and godliness. How He delights in me, loves me and empowers me. There is so much I could say here.

So, I am looking into a memorization program. I think I might use Piper's Fighter Verses, but I am not sure. Any suggestions? What have you found helpful?

Retreating

2009-01-20T14:34:00.002-06:00

This Thursday I will get to go on a personal retreat. I will have 3 days to myself to pray and read and worship and plan. The Lord has given me a sense of anticipation as this year begins and I want to really seek Him for what He has for me this year. I have a couple of books I am taking and some teachings on my Ipod to listen to. I want to download some new worship music to take with me so that is where I need your help. Do any of you have a favorite worship CD or two that you could recommend? I have one I am leaning toward, but I thought I would ask. Also, if you have any recommendations of teachings or reading material that has really served you lately, I would love to hear about it. What is life to you right now?

Just Wait!

2009-01-12T21:07:00.002-06:00

That has been the theme since the beginning of this year. It seems that every morning the Lord is reminding me to wait on Him. In my pride, I usually think I should do something about situations that don't seem right or situations I don't like. (notice these are situations I thing need to change, not the Lord). Like maybe I should mention them to someone involved..or someone not involved...or maybe I should fix it or share my keen insight and then surely it will be fixed...or maybe I should encourage someone along in something so it all happens quicker, after all isn't sooner better than later? I am amazed at how fast my mind works to "figure out" how to get things to go how I think they should, yet I can't remember where I slipped my keys! Yet, even with all my wisdom :) the Lord tells me to WAIT!

If you have known me very long you know that I am not one to relax and let things go. Sitting still is hard for me, I don't even like to sit through a movie. But, it would seem those days are ending. I think the Lord is really after me to just wait on Him in everything do, but especially in the areas that are bothering me that I want to somehow fix. It is so funny because I know I really can't change the things that mean the most to me, but I am so tempted to try.

Yet, each morning the Lord has told me to wait. Wait for him to do it all. Wait for him to accomplish His purpose in my life and those around me. Wait for strength. Wait for deliverance. Wait for resolution and an end to contempt. Wait for His action. Wait and sit back and watch Him work His amazing, perfect will. Wait in anticipation of the wonderful things He has for us. Wait with joy. This is all so hard for me, but I so want to do it right and honor the Lord and I can so look back and see how my trying to make things better often doesn't. Ultimately, it comes down to who do I trust? Myself or my amazing God who reigns over every single situation and circumstance and never allows anything to thwart His will for me? (the answer sounds so obvious, but is so hard) Anyway, that is the beginning of my year. I sure would appreciate your prayers if I come to your mind. I really want to sit still and just trust God. And I really do look forward to seeing what He does this year in our lives!

New Year"s Eve

2009-01-01T14:02:00.007-06:00

Happy New Year!! This year Megan and Hosanna decided to host a party at our house for all their single friends and a few married couples. Our home was transformed with metallic stars, tulle, twinkle lights and all sorts of festive decor for about 50 people. It was beautiful! One of the evening's events was a talent/no talent show. I thought you would enjoy Meg, Hosanna and Erin's talent!

New Dresses for the Cousins!!!!

2008-12-22T16:54:00.003-06:00

It was so sweet! The girls have matching Christmas dresses and they wore them to church and to Mimia's (me) house on Sunday evening. We took literally over 100 pictures and mine did not really turn out, but here they are. Annie seems to be able to sleep through anything! (do you like her hair color??) She is so sweet! I anticipate loads of fun with Violet as we open gifts on Christmas Eve. As this year comes to a close I am so grateful to the Lord for these two little girls who have been such a delight to me!!

Violet's Little Words!!

2008-12-20T13:05:00.002-06:00

Welcome Sweet Annie

2008-12-07T07:25:00.003-06:00

Annie Kate has arrived!! Callie gave birth to her first baby on Saturday morning at 12:44 after about 7 hours of labor. It was amazing! Annie is so sweet. She favors the Payne family the most, though we think she has Callie's eyes and maybe her chin, but the shape of her precious face and the general look reminds us of Tim. Her hair is lighter than I imagined, but I only had dark haired babies. Her eye are blue for now, but I bet they will change. She is perfect!

I am so aware of the great blessings in my life. As I sit here this morning I am so aware of how kind the Lord has been to me. Oh, how different it all could be. Today I will go to church and worship with a heart filled with gratitude and awe for a God that loves to lavish His children with tremendous gifts that they could have never earned. Amazing!

I am sure there will be lots of pictures on Callie's blog, Erin's blog and Megan's facebook. Enjoy! ( I know this is a bad pic, but it will have to do!)

Thanksgiving Part 2

2008-12-01T15:29:00.007-06:00

Well, everyone has gone home. The beds are stripped, the floors are washed, the leftovers are devoured and it is a bit too quiet around here! We had so much fun with the Lawler clan this weekend, we cannot wait for their return! Since, Tyler's request was that we had a low key weekend we spent most of the time at home. Erin, Dru, Violet, Tim and Callie were here just about every waking moment. We ate alot, played Wii alot, Blockus, Pit, Settlers and Farkle. We had a movie night and a round of disc golf. Trying to pick the pictures to capture the weekend is a hard task, but I will l try.

Wii watchers!!

Erin feeding Dru..notice the sweet potatoes flying in the
background and Violet covering her face!!!

Tyler showing affection to Mindy!

A round of Settlers....

Our guests of Honor.....

Dustin and Megan showcasing the layered Jello that took then 4 days to make!!?? A basic cooking class coupon will be in their stockings this Chrsitmas.

Thanksgivng Part 1

2008-11-29T07:34:00.004-06:00

I don't have time to write about much this morning, but one of my joys this weekend is having the Lawlers and Tyler and Mindy here. It has been so great and I don't want them to go home!! Tyler and Mindy were also here a month ago and both then and now Violet has not really warmed up to Uncle Tyler. So, yesterday Tyler made a valiant effort to enter her world and win her heart. The pictures tell it all.....
He looks like a giant in the playhouse!!! His hard work paid off..Violet sat with him later that evening!!

More Thanksgiving updates later!

Been Tagged

2008-11-23T18:29:00.002-06:00

I've been tagged..here's my photo....

This great photo of Tim ,Callie and Meg :) was taken in Nov. 2004 at Grandma and Grandpa Payne's house. It was Thanksgiving, Katy Korday had just called and said she was engaged!! Our family and the Payne's had spent the night there and had a wonderful holiday. Boy it seems long ago!!!!

Ok, I tag Jen Pazdur, Nancy Mandl, Lynette Myers, Michelle Tombrella and Christina Saull.

This is a Picture Tag and here's what the rules were:

Go to your Pictures file

Go to the 5th folder

Open the 5th picture and post it

Tag 5 people when you're done.

Catch Up Time!

2008-11-19T06:11:00.005-06:00

Violet's first kayak trip!

Well, the whole month is almost gone and I have barely thought about this blog. We started the month off with a camping trip to Lake Ray Roberts. The days were perfect and the nights were cold, which I think makes camping sort of fun. We took our kayaks with us and enjoyed a little spin! I am really looking forward to more time on the lakes here. We had a group that came and spent the nights with us and then a group that came to spend the day on Saturday. It was so fun to be out there and relax. I think we will be doing this more often!

Her thoughtful taste of chocolate

We are getting ready to have Tyler and Mindy come for Thanksgiving and the Lawler's (Mindy's family) are coming too! It has been since 2004 since all my kids were with us for Thanksgiving dinner, so I am really thrilled. I am also hoping that the turkey puts Callie into labor and the baby comes that weekend. I was in the hospital for 2 births on Thanksgiving, so maybe it is hereditary!!!

Christmas shopping is well under way. Since the baby is due in the first part of December, Callie called for all wish lists to be submitted early which got all of us going early. We are still doing our traditional Day after Thanksgiving early morning shopping trip, but I wont have much left by then.

Laughing at her silly Papa!!

Our church is doing a series entitled, "Think Big." It is on living for something greater than yourself. If you have time, download (click here)the podcast and give it a listen. Craig just did the first in the series on Sunday and it was excellent. Our care group is growing and I love the people we have in it. The girls all seem to really enjoy one another and I am looking forward to building friendships with them.

Violet continues to be a complete delight to all of us. I get to have here on Wednesdays and I enjoy every minute of the day. I love hearing her call me when she wakes up or when she needs a treat!! (a healthy one of course) I go by "Mimi" but she calls me Mimia! So cute! Erin used to call me Mommia, so it must be in the genes. I can only imagine how much fun it will be to have 2 grandkids! (or more T & M)!!!

Well, I better get to my devotions. I used the online audio chronological ESV Bible plan (click here.) The guy reads the Word to me and I read along. It helps me to concentrate better. Well, recently, they must have fired the guy they use to have and they got a new guy. So, one morning I begin to listen and it is a new voice!! It was so weird! I kept feeling like I was missing someone!! It was hard to follow along. I miss the old guy and to top it off, the new guy makes mistakes sometimes and does not use his voice to make it interesting! I wonder if they knew how much difficulty I would suffer by them getting rid of the old guy!!

A Warning about Ipods

2008-10-27T15:49:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day and we decided to open the windows for some fresh air. Fred had been outside working in the yard and as he came in he said "Let's put the air on...can you close the windows?" I said "Sure" and he went upstairs. So, I proceed to close a kitchen window. Now our windows are about 8 feet tall and go down almost to the floor, so I bent over to push the window down. Just as I finished closing the first window, the toggle from my bracelet got caught just as the window shut. I was trapped. I couldn't get my bracelet unstuck for anything and it was a chunky chain so I couldn't break it or wiggle my wrist out of it. And the windows are really heavy so I couldn't get it back up in the position I was in....So...I being to yell for Fred, after 5 minutes I realize he must have his new Ipod going and can't hear me, so I begin to scream"Help" over and over knowing the windows are open and maybe a neighbor will come to my rescue, but it was to no avail. I was stuck. I knew the girls would be home in an hour so I tried to get comfy...remember, the window is low so my wrist is 6 inches from the ground so my back is now aching!! I just began to laugh and then I remembered that mountain climber who cut his own arm off! I didn't think that was an option. I continued to yell from time to time and the I began to yank and pull and pull and yank and my wrist was killing me, but I got the toggle to the end of the window and was able to free myself. Once I was free I went upstairs to find my man just sitting there in at his desk listen to his Ipod...just as I thought. He looked at me and just said "What?"

Megan's Liberation Day!!!!!

2008-10-23T17:08:00.003-05:00

Today is a big day around here. It has been 6 months since Megan went off her anti-seizure medication and she has not had one seizure! That means, that as of today, she is legal to drive again!!! This is huge in many ways. The greatest thing about it is that she has been free of those nasty brain storms. We know that they could return any day, but in the past she use to have them every 6 months and then she went 3 1/2 years without any of them. Going 6 months this time is huge because she was having them so often until last November, then they started to taper off and then they were gone. We are praying they never return. In smaller, but still significant way, it is huge beause Meg now can live a normal life going to work or play as she desires without having to wait for Mom, Dad, Callie, Erin, Hosanna or Courtney to take her! I am so glad for her! She left early this morning for work and as of 5:30 she has not come home yet!! I think she is having fun!

The Big 5-0!!!!!!!

2008-10-20T18:34:00.006-05:00

Nope, I am not 50 yet, I have a few more years to go, but my favorite person in the world turned 50 this weekend. Fred turned 50 on Sunday. I had been so excited for this weekend because Tyler and Mindy were coming to join us for the celebration and Fred has no idea! They arrived Friday night while we were outside enjoying a fire. Fred was totally surprised and thrilled to have them with us. It is always so great when we have everyone together!

On Saturday we had a family breakfast at our house and just hung out until the ladies all left for a baby shower for Callie. It was nice that Mindy and Mom Shaw were here for it. While we were at the shower, the guys went and played disc golf, a favorite past time of Fred's. Then we all met back up and went to dinner at LaHa, a Texas favorite. Then off to the annual Frisco Storytelling Festival, which was a bit disappointing, but none the less fun just to be together.

On Sunday we all went to church together (a favorite thing for me) and then home for birthday dinner and hang out time. Tyler had to leave in the evening and Mom and Mindy flew home today.

All weekend I was so aware of the kindness the Lord has shown my family. They all love each other and love to be together and most importantly, they all love God. It was a true joy to all be here celebrating Fred. As I drifted off to sleep last night my only prayer was "Thank you, Thank you so much for my family."

Breckenridge

2008-10-02T15:24:00.004-05:00

Fred and I were given the opportunity to spend some time at a condo in Breckenrdige. I was reluctant to go because I felt like there was so much to do at home and I have been gone alot and when will I get those blinds cleaned if never stay home. But, as usual, Fred talked me into going and I am so glad I did. The weather has been amazing! I forgot how blue the sky is up here in the mountains and I forgot how beautiful the autumn aspens are! We have taken many walks everyday enjoying the quaint town and the awesome surroundings! It has been cool, so in the mornings we bundle up and even wear our down vests! We walk to Starbucks, get our brew and walk the town. Oh, I would love for this to be an annual tradition!

Today, we were out walking and the sky began to cloud up. I guess we didn't really pay attention and all of a sudden there was a HUGE clap of thunder! It scared me and I was reminded of how dangerous the lightning is in the mountains, so we quickly headed home. We were no soon back to the condo when it began to snow and rain!! I love it! We hunkered down and had some lunch, Fred watched the market continue to fall and I watched "Little House on the Prairie" while I read my book. The just when the heat in the condo was finally warming things up..the sun popped out and it is time for another walk!!

Oh and all that work I was worried about...Hosanna cleaned the blinds at home for me while I was vacationing! I need to go away more often!!

She Makes Me Laugh!!!

2008-09-24T13:22:00.005-05:00

Good thing this Mimi has a sense of humor and is not given to being overly sensitive. Today, I arrived at Erin's for my weekly day with Violet. As I came in, I was greeted by the usual, cheery "hi!" with the wave included, from Violet. I then proceeded to encourage her say "mimi" in which she obediently pointed at me and said "Dog!" Then, while I was feeding her lunch I asked her where Auntie Callie's baby was, she promptly point to my stomach. (hhmm, note to self, google a new diet.) Thankfully, I did not dissolve into a pre-menopausal breakdown but laughed! Gotta love that girl!!

2008-09-17T15:21:00.004-05:00

I found this great flag while we were on vacation. As you can imagine..I laughed and Fred shook his head!!! :) I think I have made history more times than he desired!! I wish I could have gotten it for a few of my girlfriends!!

Hurry Home Boyfriend!!

2008-09-14T16:21:00.004-05:00

Well, the past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I was gone for 5 days visiting a friend and then while I was flying home Fred called to tell me his mom's husband had died. We were prepared that Bill would be going home soon and I had just prayed tht evening before that the Lord would display His mercy and take Bill home soon. I got home and Fred left.

It is amazing how much I miss my husband. I want to sit and tell him all about my trip, share with him some things the Lord has been showing me, snuggle and watch the game tonight. I want to hear all about his time in Ohio with his family. I can't and it will all be fine. But, I miss him.

It is good to have this time to reflect and appreciate how much God has given me and how much I love the guy. So often, I am prone to look at what is missing and grumble. Having these weeks apart has reminded me of what is important and what a wonderful gift the Lord has given me. I am also aware that, God willing, I will see my husband this week. My dear mother-in-law has had to bury my father-in-law and now her second husband. I can't imagine what that kind of missing must feel like. I hope I don't forget to continue to be grateful once we are back to our normal life.

2008-09-04T15:46:00.002-05:00

Last week we dove in and bought a kayak! I am so excited about this new hobby of ours. We will get the second one shortly, but the store was out of the one we wanted. We are exploring all sorts of places in Texas to kayak! There is a place right near our house to put in, so I think we will go often. And since we have a very mild winter, the season for being on the water is longer here than most places. It is so relaxing to go along and chat with one another and enjoy the beauty of God's creation and it is hard to find a sport Fred and I can do together (though he is almost 50, he is still playing baseball with the young guys and we KNOW he has a marathoner's heart!). Fred has his eye on some of the rivers down in the hill country of Texas, I bet those are beautiful rivers! We will keep you posted on our adventures! I will posted pictures of our first time out as soon as we get the second one and we actually get out there!!

2008-08-27T13:49:00.003-05:00

Isn't she lovely? This is my Grandma Frances. She will be 99 in October. She was a big part of my childhood and the only grandparent I really knew. My grandpa died before I was born and my paternal grandparents lived far away so I only saw them every several years. Grandma Frances lived near us when I was a child. She came over often and and would have little black licorice candies in her pocket! I still love black licorice! She would go the beach with our family and play in the waves with us. She would babysit us and once in a while smack us!! Her couch had plastic on it as did her lamp shades, I don't remember being at her house too much!! ha ha! She has great stories that we have heard a thousand times that still make us laugh. I love her dearly.

This week Grandma ran into a little health issue, we will know more in a week or so, but the graver issue is that she does not know Jesus. Both of my sisters were there this week and were able to share the Gospel with Grandma Frances again. This week she listened and seemed a little more open to hearing. Please pray that the Lord would draw her near to himself and reveal his love to her and give her salvation. I have prayed for her salvation for 32 years and I have faith that I am on the the cusp of seeing God answer my prayer. Today the Lord comforted me with these verses:

"Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne and to the Lamb!"

"They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Rev. 7:10, 16-17

Oh how sweet that day will be!!!!!

2008-08-19T18:40:00.003-05:00

We are back and recovering from relaxing so much! We really enjoyed our time away and REALLY enjoyed being with our precious friends Jen, Ryan, Isaac, Dan, Jamie, Cindi and Pete. I am so grateful for those God has allowed us to be friends with and how often we get to travel and see different ones. This trip was a gift from God.

We relaxed and took walks in the cool Michigan air. We watched the Olympics. We ate yummy food and had way too much Starbucks. We had Turtle Ice Cream Sundaes. We chatted and laughed. On Tuesday Fred and I went exploring. We ended up Kayaking on the Kalamazoo river. Walking around Saugatuck and window shopped. Then, we went to the beach on Lake Michigan and took a walk and put our feet in the ice cold lake (for one second). After all that, we headed back to Holland, one of our favorite places in the world, and just walked around like tourists. The day was fabulous.

On Wednesday, we spent the day with Jen and Isaac. Drank Starbucks on the front porch in our jeans with blankets on our laps to keep the chill away!! Sure beats the 107 degree that Dallas was experiencing. Then, Jen and I went to the mall and then home to get the guys, grab dinner and catch a late flight. We were home at midnight, in our own bed.

It was so nice to relax and sit around with no agenda except pleasure!! I really felt like I was on vacation!!!

Greetings from Holland!

2008-08-11T19:07:00.007-05:00

Yes, we are in Holland. Actually, we were this weekend, now we are in Caledonia! We had a great weekend celebrating Jamie and Dan's wedding. It was so beautiful. They were married in Nelson Zeerip's yard on Lake Makatawa, off of Lake Michigan. The day was gorgeous, in the 70's, sunny with white puffy clouds floating by, sail boats on the water...so beautiful, Jamie looked amazing and it was wonderful to be a part of it all.

(behaving, as usual!!)

Fred and I are driving Jamie's car while we are here and she is on her honeymoon. Imagine the stares we got when Fred, myself, Hosanna and Isaac emerged from this car at the local ice cream hang out...

We are staying with Jenny, Ryan and Isaac while we are here. It is so fun to play with Isaac and get to know him better. He giggles from his belly at just about every silly thing we do. Jen and Ryan took the opportunity to go away for a few days, so Fred and I get Isaac all to ourselves! We have taken walks down the lake road, played outside and snuggled. He is such a great baby!

Tomorrow Jen and Ryan come home and Fred and I leave for Saugatuck where we will enjoy a couple of days of the harbor town, shop, sight see and kayak! Hope you enjoy the pictures of our vacation so far!!!!

WHO SAYS......

2008-08-06T13:12:00.001-05:00

Girls can't parallel park??

2008-08-03T21:54:00.003-05:00

Just a quick note...thanks for all the comments and emails after my last post. It is great to hear how God has been speaking and leading in all of your lives. I was encouraged by all your words and thoughts, so thanks again. Also, if you are one in a hard season or if the "blues" are often your companion, I want to recommend the teaching Craig gave at our church last Sunday (July 27th). It was as if he had taken my journal and read the entries from the past few years but especially the past few months! Amazing how the Lord works! The message was so gracious and so excellent and so freeing! Click here to listen and enjoy!

Words For The Wind

2008-07-16T14:35:00.006-05:00

Our church is studying the Psalms this summer. It is absolutely wonderful. I can relate to the Psalmist so well. I read from Psalms everyday, it is my favorite book of the Bible. I also, listen to Piper each week and it just so happens that he is taking his church through the Psalms this summer, so I get a double dose of my favorite things. Kind of like having you a Sonic Diet Cherry Diet Coke and a Starbucks Non-Fat Double Shot in the same day!!

To top all that off, I believe God is working in my heart and teaching me more about grace. More about His compassion and care for me, more about how I am but dust and He knows it. I am seeing more and more weakness in myself and yet, I am not discouraged. I feel so sure that He has a way to help me and He will do the work in me. It is not about me doing it and getting it and perfecting it. It is all about Him, all of grace. My role is simply to follow Him, trust Him and obey Him. Here are some things I am learning…

This is a quote from John Piper that I have been thinking about…

“Do you think you that you can reprove words when the speech of a despairing man is wind?” Job 6:26

“What does that mean? That means please don’t be picky about my language when I am in pain. If I say “God why have you forgotten me?’ don’t lecture me on the fact that God never forgets His own, do that later. Don’t be picky with my language; it’s a wind word it’s going to be blown away. There will be plenty of time for you to see my life, that I am a true lover of God and I will stand with Him no matter what. I think that’s the point. If you care about people and you’ve got a robust theology of suffering and someone says something theologically inappropriate, let it go. It’s going to be blown away. A month later they are going to look back on these horrible moments and they are going to think “Good Night, I am glad God didn’t strike me dead.’ And He didn’t and you shouldn’t.”

I have become so aware of how often I feel like I need to have a solution to my weakness or sin and I need to give others a solution too. I have spoken too quickly to correct others when they are weak, instead of coming along side and just carrying them. In Job it reads, “No one spoke a word to him, for they saw his suffering was great” (ch. 1). Piper’s quote undid me. I was in tears as I have done that to others and had that done to me. I truly believe that, out of love for someone, I have spoken words that are true but not timely. Many times it is better to remain silent. There will be time later to adjust.

And then, we were at the pool recently and there was this dad with his son, about 6 years old. The boy was swimming the length of the pool and whenever he would come up for air the dad would scream “SWIM, SWIM.” The boy would barely get a breath and then go under again. A few times the child tried to hold onto his dad, he was exhausted, only to be met by more screams of “Get off of me and swim.” It was heartbreaking. I turned to Hosanna and told her “That is how I feel right now. I can’t even get a full breath before I have to go back and swim.” Well, the lesson had just begun. I have come to see that it is not God screaming at me, He instead is saying “Are you weary? Float, rest, breath, let me carry you.”

Again, it is all about God working and doing. It is not about me and all I can do. He is my everything and the changer and sustainer of my being. He will accomplish His desire in me.

If you have time, listen to the teaching by Eric Hughes that we heard this past Sunday at Grace Church and then go to Pipers' website and listen to June 1, 2008. They are both so excellent!

P.S. I am not excusing sin or saying we don’t need to be responsible for ourselves. I am, also, not saying we should not correct one another in love. I am just saying that for me, I want to move more by grace and less by rules and trust that God will work in me and in those around me and it is not up to me to fix it all in my life or in anyone else's.

Let's Close Out This Week!

2008-07-12T21:07:00.004-05:00

Wow, what a week! On Monday Meg had her tonsils out. Then on Wednesday, we had to end our fun with the Bensons since they had to go home. The day they were leaving Meg began to turn a bit south from her tonsillectomy. I figured she was just feeling the pain more now that all the anesthetics were out of her body. On Thursday she seem to rebound a bit and we also got the results from a biopsy that had looked "suspicious." Benign!! Thursday night she goes downhill again, hhmmm, should we be back at the hospital? She doesn't want to go, I am sooo tired I fall asleep watching a move (it is date night) and Fred decides he will be the night watchman so I can rest.(love that guy). Friday she rebounds again, but when the Dr. calls they say "Well, maybe she better come back. Well, maybe she is OK, but maybe she better come back. Okay, Let's try the new drugs and see how she is." Friday night goes well. We all sleep pretty well. Then today she went downhill fast. So, off we went to the ER and they were great. The doctor had called ahead so they were waiting for us. Meg was immediately seen and given new antibiotics for an infection, steroids for the swelling, morphine for the pain, something to stop the nausea and fluids for the dehydration. About an hour later they did all the same things again and then she was released! It was so smooth I knew the Lord was ahead of us. I think she may be on her way to really being better. If you think of her, please pray for her. She was supposed to begin her first job as a pedo dental assistant, obviously she won't be able to be there on Monday. We are hoping they will wait for her and not hire someone else, this practice is ideal for her.

Anyway, I am looking forward to tomorrow morning, the beginning of a new week. Eric Hughes is preaching at our church so it will be especially sweet to go tomorrow, though I always look forward to going to our church. I am looking forward to Meg feeling better, since they think the tonsils were the root of her being sick so much the past few years. I am looking forward to a nice night of sleep!! Thanks for praying for us. We are grateful.

I am re-reading "Trusting God" by Bridges. So helpful at this time!! I'll leave you with this quote, "Because He has a plan for you, and because no one can thwart that plan, you too can have hope and courage. You, too, can trust God...There are no contingencies with God. Our unexpected, forced change of plans is a part of His plan. God is never surprised: never caught off guard; never frustrated by unexpected developments."

Oh So Fun

2008-07-06T21:43:00.003-05:00

It is a tradition to do something exciting whenever we are with some of our friends. So, when Jim and Linda came to visit us on a last minute trip, we knew we had to come up with something good. We couldn't rent snow mobiles, go skiing, play in the ocean or go ice skating so we decided to go rent some wave runners. We took Meg with us, since we had been promising her that we would take her soon. It was so fun and sort of scary. Anyway, you can see Linda was a bit scared, she was praying before she even got going!!

Jamie and Dan

2008-07-03T21:09:00.003-05:00

Two weeks ago Jamie and Dan came to visit us. We had fun just hanging around and laughing. It was a delight getting to know Dan and watch his gentle care of our dear Jamie. He is a gentle, wise man. He cares very well for Jamie, very tenderly. We loved him. Of course, Jamie kept us laughing all weekend! We can't wait to see them (and the rest of the Smith Fam and Jen, Ryan and Isaac) at the wedding in August.

The picture sums up our weekend. (just for you Nanc)

You know You're Old When...

2008-07-02T16:04:00.002-05:00

You go to Target to buy clothespins and 3 different employees have no idea what they are???!!.....

You go to Dairy Queen, ask for a crunch cone and the employee doesn't know what that is???!!...

You go to the grocery store and realize they don't make Bundt cake mixes anymore..no one knows what it is??!!!....

I better just stay home

2008-06-29T21:55:00.009-05:00

Well, this weekend turned out to be filled with fun. Friday night we went to Fred's softball game and our team, Grace Church Crush, won the game. I enjoyed going and cheering the team on and catching up with all sorts of people from our church. It was hot though. I will enjoy the games that are later in the evening more!!

Then, on Saturday, I slept till 8 and then just hung around in pj's till about 2. The only one of us that was dressed or productive was Freddie boy. I think the only reason I did get dressed was because a friend needed to come use our computer. But, then the real fun began. Meg had asked us to go to a Hot Air Balloon Festival with her. We were going to go up for a launch and a glow. So, we piled in our car, Tim, Callie, Hosannie, Fred and I. Off we went to Celina (Meg, Rob and ALyssa were meeting us.) Low and behold, we got all the way to Celina only to encounter a severe thunderstorm that, we later learned on the news, wiped out the festival!! SO, we headed back south and landed at Chicago St. Pizzaria. We ordered our deep dish and sat down to wait the 40 minutes for it to bake. We played a card game and just had fun. Then the great pizza came and away went the cards. After that we headed to DQ and then to a lake for a walk. We walked in the rain around the lake and enjoyed one another. (notice Callie's little tummy) (Tim looks so excited!!)

Today we got to go to church and then hang out with our friends Rob, Paul, Mark and Jonathan. We had them over for dinner, golf, wiffle ball, dessert and Indiana Jones. When we began this weekend we did not have any plans. But, the weekend surprised me and was fun after all!! Isn't God kind?

Keeper...

2008-06-25T16:40:00.004-05:00

I have been thinking lately that it is important to define our roles from the Bible. For instances, I am a wife, therefore I should go to the Bible and see what it says about the role of the wife. There are many phrases the Bible uses to describe our roles, again as example, a wife is also called a helper, a helpmate, a love, a keeper of the home etc. There are many roles in our lives and our roles change as do our seasons. I am now starting to be considered an "older woman" (not sure what I think about that!!). Anyway, I was thinking about my role(s) in life and asking God to help me define what my role is in this season. As always, He is faithful to answer. In my quiet time today I read a verse that made my heart leap. I found a new role in the Bible, one I have never seen before!!! One I am excited to fulfill!!I was so thrilled and so sure it was God speaking to me. I had found a new purpose for my life!! So, if any of you ladies are struggling to know what God might have for you, I encourage you to read 2 Kings 22:14 and see if this might be something God has for you too. :)

New Vice on Ice

2008-06-19T17:55:00.003-05:00

The girls got me hooked on Starbuck's Iced Non Fat Double Shot. I could have several a day! Have you tried it yet? I am usually a Sugar free something, nonfat latte girl, but this has taken it's place! Now I am just wondering how to fund my need!

Nothing much!

2008-06-11T16:55:00.003-05:00

Well, it has been a week since my last post and not too much is going on. We have gone to the pool everyday and enjoyed it so much. I walk over relax, cool off and walk home. I don't know how people survive the Texas heat without a pool. I am grateful we have one so close.

This weekend was fun and filled with activity. I got to be with my friend Holly 3 times in a few days. A rare treat! We also went to an outdoor concert with our care group and I thought it was so fun to be there. The weather was perfect as we listened to some local talent. Afterward, we headed over to the baseball fields and watch some 14 year old boys play their last game of the season.

We had guests for dinner on Saturday night and Sunday night. Both were nice nights.

One thing that has been on my mind lately is the cost of discipleship and the cost of proclaiming the Gospel. Though I know there are many costs the one I have felt the most lately is saying good-bye and being far from ones you love so much. Both Callie and Erin are facing a sad goodbye with girls they have each come to love here in Dallas. On Saturday morning I broke down and cried and told Fred I didn't want the girls to have to feel the sting of giving up your friends and why couldn't we be called to a church that never changes?? Of course, he very gently reminded me of all we have been given and how God has been so kind and that we wouldn't want to be anywhere else and that the girls have been taught that this life is not always easy, but God is always good. I rebounded quickly and repented of my tantrum, but I must confess, apart from hanging out with Jesus, my next favorite thing about Heaven is there will be no goodbyes!!!

Home Again, Home Again Jiggety Jog

2008-06-03T13:47:00.004-05:00

Well, we are home again, this time from Cleveland. The city where Fred and I met, were married and had our four children. It was such a great weekend. It started out with hanging out at Mom's and Fred helped with some chores around the house while Mom and I got manicures and pedicures!! Then we had an evening at Robin's (Fred's oldest sister) hanging out on the deck, having yummy ribs with margaritas and then walking to Malley's Ice Cream Shoppe, a childhood favorite for both Fred and I. The walk was encumbered by the fact that I was often thrown into a web by Spiderman (aka Owen Shaw). Thankfully, I remembered my own super powers and was able to escape.

Saturday we had a brunch at Mary's (Fred's other older sister) and we got to see our the bride, Hannah Marie. Everyone was busy eating and getting all beautiful for the wedding. It was so nice and I was so grateful we got to be a part of it.

Then, Robin, Callie, Meg and I went shopping for a bit and then off to the wedding. I was undone at the wedding as I was able to see the faithfulness of God in Hannah's life and the lives of her sisters. These girls are absolutely amazing! You can see the handiwork of God is all of them.

Sunday was a walk in the Metro Parks. It was so beautiful and also a place full of memories for Fred and I. Much of the trip was spent telling our kids about this person or that person or pointing out were we used to play, ride our bikes, where our friends lived, we saw our childhood homes, etc. etc. I think the kids thought we were rambling, I think we were too!!! ha ha ha

We also were able to attend Becca's graduation. The Commencement Ceremony was very moving and Becca sang a song she wrote for her fellow classmates. She did an outstanding job. I was so proud of her.

The weekend held so much more than this. It was great to be with Fred's family and hang out. It was great to see the places where much of our lives took place. It was incredible to be a part of Hannah's big day. It was moving to see old friends and hear about the goodness of God in their lives. It was fun to help Mom with chores. It was great to meet JP our new nephew and to meet Ryan Hannah's groom. It was a wonderful 5 days.

The Weekend

2008-05-26T22:42:00.002-05:00

Well, it is late on Monday night. I am usually in bed by now, but tonight I was fooling with my blog template. I am not in love with the one I picked, but I really want to learn how to design these myself, so for now an imported one will have to do.

This weekend was pretty quiet and yet busy. Meg is at NA, and from the bit I heard, she is having a great time. Hosanna went to Georgia for a family event. So, Fred and I had the house to ourselves for a few days. We had fun. We ate out a few times, walked, swam, went to the movies, ordered pizza, got ice cream, had Erin, Dru and Violet for breakfast..it was a fun weekend.

I, also had 2 girls' nights out in one weekend. One night we went to the Outlet shopping center. Gotta love Gap and Banana, and just for fun, Lori Ann and I ducked into the Coach store. Then on Sunday night a couple of girls and I went to dinner and the to a favorite little spot to sit outside on the sidewalk and chat and laugh while we had coffee. While we were there the electricity went out so that made it even more interesting. It never was restored while we were there.

I have loved going to the pool almost everyday. I am meeting some new ladies there, new opportunities to share with them about who I try to live for. I am amazed at how people can live their lives they have without the Lord, where do they get the strength? I am grateful He has called me and saved me, I couldn't imagine life without Him.

On Thursday we will head to Cleveland. The city we got married in and the birthplace of all my children. Meg, Callie and Tim will be joining us, so they will get to do the tour of the homes that Fred and I each grew up in and the places we lived until we left there to plant the church in Virginia Beach. I am looking forward to that, but I'm most looking forward to seeing our niece, Hannah Shaw, get married and being able to see all of Fred's family.

Well, off to bed. Tomorrow is Tuesday, which means "Violet Day" for me!!

Get 'Er Done!

2008-05-19T07:27:00.003-05:00

Well, I never thought i would do it, but....you know those ladies that come and organize your home for you? Well, I needed help so I hired one. She came for 3 days to help me with some things....

She is Really Coming!

2008-05-13T21:07:00.004-05:00

We got word tonight that our dear friend Jamie Smith is coming to visit us in June and she is bring her fiance' Dan with her. We have been trying to get her to come since we got here and now the tickets are bought and soon they will be here!!

Jamie lived with our family for a while and nestled her way into our hearts. I enjoyed waking each morning and having coffee (while I told her she should get off caffeine) and chatting for a long time each day. She shared a room with Jenny, so we had a full house and I loved every minute of it.

I can't wait to sit and chat face to face (I saw James in February when I was in Michigan visiting Jen). We only had one day together, not enough time, but we picked up where we left off and we laughed like crazy. Now we will have more time and we will get to grill Dan ;).

Free Pictures

2008-05-10T09:53:00.002-05:00

Below is a link to a new digital photo company I am using. I just placed my first order with them. Your first 200 photos are free, so it is worth a try. let me know if you use them and what you think. Just click on the link below to check them out.
Referral Link : http://www.artscow.com/default.aspx?Ref=356494

I'm Back!!

2008-05-04T08:25:00.004-05:00

Wow April was a full and fun month! It started it out with a visit from my friend DiDi Bendinelli! She came to Dallas to relax and recover from a hard few months. We did all the typical girl things...pedicures, shop, laugh, shop, watch a girl movie, shop, eat lunch out, shop, eat dinner out, shop, laugh, eat junk food etc. etc. We actually didn't buy much, just looked!!

A few days after DiDi left my Mom and Dad came to visit. They wanted to be here when Erin and Dru celebrated Violet's first birthday! It was great to have them. It was very relaxing and so dear to see them with Violet. She is their first great grandchild! They adore her. Below is a picture of my dad feeding her.

Then, a few days after they left we headed for a week in Denver. We went to Jordan Bendi's wedding. All of my kids were there and so many friends. It was so fun to be there catching up with people and seeing Jordan enter a new and wonderful season. A highlight of the trip was getting to see Tyler and Mindy, I miss them so much and love any chance I can get to see them. BTW they put an offer in on a house, so if you think of them, please pray they get it. It would be great, I will let Mindy tell you about it on her blog. Plus, if they get it I am SURE we will need to go help them :).

Well, it is May now. The pool is open (we are going today after church) and everything is bloomed and green. I love this month the best, so full of new things and so full of beauty. I am aware that July is coming and everything will be scorched ha ha ha! Gotta love Texas!!

Glorious Attempts

2008-04-08T12:23:00.003-05:00

"Some causes are so worthy, it is glorious just to make the attempt. Some causes are so worthy it is glorious just to be a part of them. Some causes are so worthy it is glorious just to be counted among those who sacrificed. The Gospel is so worthy it is glorious just to make the attempt."

These words were spoken by Dave Harvey last weekend at our church, They have rung in my head for 10 days now. I am being provoked to examine my life with these words. Even just making the attempt to live a Gospel centered life is glorious in the sight of God. My efforts are seen by Him and He is honored by my heart's desire to try to glorify Him. Paul valued the Gospel above seeing the fruit of the Gospel. So often we will not get to see the fruit of our labor, but we should labor fastidiously none the less. God sees. We should be making great attempts to apply the grace of the Gospel daily. How often do we not do something because we don't think we will do it well? How often do we withhold sharing the Gospel because we are afraid we won't be able to be clear enough or there isn't enough time or we won't remember where the scriptures are?

How often I have been derailed from trying by my own legalistic beliefs that God will only find pleasure in me if I do it all right. How freeing to know now that even my feeble attempts to bring the Gospel or my attempts at making sacrifices for the kingdom, is by His grace, is glorious to Him. I am motivated to attempt more and, I know, with that will come some victories and some shortcomings, but I guess if I am going to go down, I would rather it be that I fell while I was trying to honor God and trying to proclaim His Gospel rather than my failure being that I never tried.

Good Friday

2008-03-21T08:28:00.006-05:00

It is Good Friday, a day of reflection. I remember being a child and we were not allowed to play as if it were any other day. It was a day of reverence. I am grateful for that training. It is still a day of reverence to me. This morning I listened to this narrative of the crucifixion.
Please sit down and listen, it is about 10 minutes, but it is so powerful. In order to be grateful for what Jesus has done, we must realize exactly what it is He has done.

Happy Birthday Meggie Girl!!!!!

2008-03-20T05:46:00.004-05:00

Today is the first day of spring and today it Megan's birthday! She is 21! It is s hard to believe that my youngest is 21! I am grateful to God for every minute I have had with her. To help her celebrate the big event Mindy and MaryBeth have come from Denver. They have had great fun, all sleeping together in one bed, late night movies, visiting cemeteries (one of Meg's favorite things to do), shopping, movie going, but most importantly, just enjoying the tremendous friendships they have shared their whole lives. Tonight we will enjoy Meg's sisters and their families will come over for her birthday dinner of Green Chili Enchiladas made with these incredible corn tortillas my friend Solange gets for me, chips and guac and GF carrot cake. Yum, I can't wait. Well, Happy Birthday to my baby girl!! I love you Meg!

Where DOES She Get It??

2008-03-11T14:27:00.003-05:00

If you read Erin's last blog entry you will know what I am referring to. If you haven't, then go to Erin's Blog and read it. This is a picture of Erin at 18 months, genetics are amazing!!

2008-03-06T09:00:00.002-06:00

"We do not know what to do, but we lift our eyes to you." 2 Chr. 20:12. Words that are often said from my mouth. I am regularly puzzled by life and am not sure how I am supposed to respond or act and I often say to the Lord "I don't know what I should do." (Actually, I often speak or act and realize I should have asked the Lord first.) It is a great place to find ourselves. Aware of our need for God to speak and act, aware of our lack of ability to go it alone. We have a great promise that follows this remark by Jehoshaphat, verses 15-17 reads "Listen. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed..for the battle is not yours but God's...You will not need to fight this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf...do not be afraid and do not be dismayed..the Lord will be with you." Yesterday, as I read this chapter I was comforted by these words, that God Himself goes before me and cares for me and defends me and helps me. He already gave his all for me, shed his precious blood for me and conquered sin and death on my behalf, of course I have nothing to fear, I just need to lift my eyes to Him and be reminded of the truths of the Gospel.

Home Again

2008-02-25T07:57:00.004-06:00

Well, I made it home from Michigan safe and sound. The week was so wonderful and leaving was so hard. These goodbyes kill me. We kept our goodbye at the airport brief so that helped and I had to go to the bathroom really bad so that helped :) but after I got on the plane the tears began. The man next to me asked if someone had died!! HHMM is there a way to cry without tears so no one knows? A tear ablation of some sort. Well, I hope to see Jen, Ryan and Isaac (also known as Watermelon Bug or handsome) this summer or fall. It's up to Jamie :).

I missed Violet and was anxious to see her. She came for breakfast on Saturday and then she came Sunday morning and we skipped church together due to the stomach flu epidemic our church has experienced. (we are not sick, just avoiding getting sick.)

But, the main reason for today's post is to show Violet's early hunger for God's word. Notice which books she chose to "read" from Mimi's basket!!

Isaac Elliot

2008-02-20T20:47:00.004-06:00

I am here in the land of perpetual snow and cold. The temp. this morning was 1 when I got up, that is not a typo! But, the cold has not bothered me because I am having such a great time with my dear friend Jen, who is as much a part of our family as one could be who does not share our blood. We have poked around town, gone to a gluten-free bakery, grabbed Starbucks, done Target, ran in Barnes and Noble and just plain hung out. Tomorrow we will go meet Jamie for the day. It is so nice to be here, but the best part is my little Isaac Elliot. He is absolutely precious. He is always happy and smiling and Jen is always laughing at him. It is so great to be here!!!! Take a look at this little guy....irresistible!!!!