Wow! It has been almost a year since I blogged.  I thought my blog would take on a new look as we pursued our adoption and as some things began to stir, I didn't blog because it seemed better to not make public our process.  Yet, a year later, we still wait.  Some of you know what we are up against as we wait.  I am happy to email the situation, but don't think it is wise to blog about it.  It is a complicated situation and we ourselves don't know what is best or what should happen.  What we do know is that there are some kids we love dearly and so wish they were here going to sleep under our roof.

My heart for the fatherless has not wained in this year.  I keep praying God would show us what we are to do and just when we are ready to throw in the towel and move on, He speaks to us and we have renewed faith to wait.  So, we wait and continue to pray.  On Sunday I was reminded afresh that God is very aware of the orphan.  I read Ps. 10:17-18 and was reminded again that the Lord will do justice for the fatherless.  I just closed my eyes during worship and repeated those words over and over.  Sometimes it takes a bit for me to really believe it, especially when my experience would try to tell me otherwise.  I confessed to the Lord that I have a hard time believing that scripture.  I asked Him to help me believe and trust....my heart was sinking inside me....it just doesn't look like He is helping the fatherless ones what we love!!  I finally just had to let it go.  I prayed "I believe, help my unbelief.  I know your words are true and if they don't seem to line up with what I see, then my perspective is wrong.  I choose to trust You."  When I opened my eyes to read what the next line of the worship song was I saw "Faithful, forever you are faithful, father to the fatherless"  That was no accident.  I chuckled and said "Ok, alright (in the same manner Augie says it) I will really do choose to believe it!"

It doesn't change what we are going through.  It doesn't resolve the injustices the orphans face.  What it does is lift my gaze Godward and remind me that I cannot even begin to understand this fallen world, but my inability to comprehend does not mean He is unable to be true to His words to us.  It means I just can't understand and so I must just trust.

If you think of it, please pray for us concerning the kids we would like to adopt.  We believe that if it is God's will for them to be with us, then He will make it happen.  He is good at that!