We got word today that one of our options is not an option anymore. There was a 13 year old girl we were considering adopting, the workers involved in her case had narrowed it down to 2 families, us and someone else. In the end, the other family was picked. We actually feel really good about their decision, we had some hesitations, but it was still a bit hard. I want the process to be over. We have some other things brewing, but no idea if anything will pan out. So, we wait. We continue to pray for God's will and we continue to feel love and longing in our hearts for someone we haven't even met. It is crazy.

Part of me wants to remind God that this whole shenanigans was His idea and we are just trying to obey so if He could get with the program and get us a kid we would appreciate it! Then I remember that God is about the whole thing, the whole process, not just the end result. He is about fashioning all of us and teaching all of us and stretching all of us so that His glory may be revealed. Oh yeah, I remember now, it is all about Him, not me!

So tonight, I cry a bit and remind my soul that He is working and He will do it. I go back and pray over every kid we are submitted on, I relinquish my hold on my agenda, my way, my idea and my timing. And of course, I grab my my Gratitude Journal and add some more entries...

...the process

...refiner's fire

...Hand picked delays

...hope for a "yes" soon

...a few more mornings that I don't have to take someone to school

...assurance of His good will

...rest in my heart