I can't express it any better, so I won't even try. This is my prayer for this season....

http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/2010/12/invisible-gifts.html

Advent

Advent is a season of longing and waiting. God's people longed for their Messiah to come. I have been singing "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" over and over. This morning I sat in our family room, the only lighting was the lights on the mantle and the Christmas tree. I watch the sun rise an light up the sky with color and beauty. I read about the Savior.

Come thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a Child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us for ever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all-sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne

We have done advent devotions and an Advent wreath from time to time, but never has a Christmas come that I felt we did enough to prepare our hearts for Christmas. Busyness creeps in and before you know it we are dealing with wrapping paper and lists and baking and preparing and tiredness. This year I am doing an Advent devotion in the mornings. I am praying each morning for the things we long for...the things only God can give...things far more important than anything on Amazon. I can't even remember what I got as gifts last Christmas, that shows me how unimportant those "needs" really are. If I could make a wish list to give to Jesus maybe it would look like this:

1. That my children would continue to grow more and more like Christ

2. That my grandchildren would come to love the Savior

3. That those who have nothing in this world would somehow see that God loves them and that would bring hope for a better day to come

4. That all the lonely children in the world would be loved by someone and shown the love of the Father

5. That my heart would be broken with the things that break God's heart and

6. That I would be willing to sacrifice it all to be His hands to the broken hearted

7. That joy unspeakable would transform me even in the darkest day

I could go on and on. So, in the early morning, while it is still dark, I have been climbing out of bed and presenting my "wish list" to Jesus. In those moments my heart fills with gratitude for all that He has granted me. My heart breaks for those who do not know Him and for those who are suffering things I read of but can't imagine. My soul longs for Jesus. I so desire to see and know His power and to experience His presence. I so desire to see this broken world find true comfort that only comes from knowing Him.

So, I encourage you to use this Advent season to prepare your heart to celebrate the coming of the Savior of the world. It is not too late to slow down and enjoy all that He has already done. To reflect on the Gift. To wonder what Mary felt. To imagine the faith Joseph exercised. To think of the excitement the shepherds felt. To let go of the things of this world and sing "Come thou long expected Jesus..raise us to thy glorious throne."

Our Next Step

We went to the conference, Together for Adoption, in the beginning of October. It was so educational as we learned about he growing orphan crisis in the world. If there isn't some quick, radical change in how we view this problem and how we view the orphans and some quick radical change on how we respond, the number of orphans will continue to grow exponentially. right now there are somewhere around 163,000,000 orphans in the world. Many are orphaned due to AIDS.

The conference was not emotionally charged. They did not use manipulation to get you to adopt. Actually, the conference was more about ways Christians can care for orphans, adoption being one option, than it was just about adoption. It was about educating us on the crisis and the avenues of change that are already in place. It was about the local church getting involved in some way, any way.

So we went, looking to see how God would want to use us. We went already praying about children in Zambia. We went wondering if our kids would ever adopt and how we could serve them. We went to see how the two of us could fulfill James 1:27.

What we learned will never fade from us. We came face to face with the fact that Fred and I have not done anything to care for any orphans. We were convicted, but oh so gently, by the Holy Spirit that we need to act in some manner. We learned so much. We both felt such a prompting to find a way to care for the fatherless.

One evening I was very convicted of that we have developed a skewed view of sacrifice. That what we think is generous is not. That we have SO much and yet think we need more. That our suburban life has lulled us to sleep and we have forgotten the needy. I had already been feeling some of that for about a year. But, at the conference I really felt sadness of what I have come to think is normal living. I have more than 99% of the world will ever have. I am accountable for that which has been given to me. Fred says that generosity is measured, not by how much you give, by but how much you sacrifice when you give. I love it. Yes, I want to give sacrificially. I want to live sacrificially.

So, in the practical. We are praying. We have no idea what God is asking us to do. Fred and I have faith for us to just begin walking and see what doors the Lord opens and closes. We have begun the process to be trained to adopt a teenage girl from the foster care system. I don't know if we will end up with another daughter or if God has us in the training to support other families that do. We are looking into how we can support a ministry for Zambian orphans whose base is right here in Frisco. We are praying about going to Zambia next summer. They need men who will commit to go every year to train the boys. Fred would be so good at that. We are also looking into how we could get the children there a college education. $2000 would educate a Zambian kid with four years of college. There are so many ways we could serve. So many ministries that could use help. So many kids that need a home. We are just trying to discern what we are to do. Please pray for us to know the will of God and obey regardless of the cost. I see first hand the beauty of adoption. I have a niece and 2 nephews who were rescued by adoption. Their lives are beautiful pictures of how God has rescued me and called me his own.

I will leave you with a quote from a blogger I enjoy and respect, Heather Hendrick:

"I hope we all remember that we don't adopt because our hearts are stirred by some pictures on the Internet. We adopt because our hearts have been stirred by the gospel. We adopt because Christ invites us to play a part in redeeming all things on this earth. He enables us to extend love, forgiveness, and grace to children who have been hurt, abused, and neglected. Sometimes that's not easy, and it doesn't come natural. Sometimes it takes a lot of work, a lot of repentance, and a lot of forgiveness. We adopt because God loves adoption, and He says to care for the orphan. He says children are a blessing. He says to imitate Him, and thankfully He's adopted a whole heck of a lot of children. We adopt because we have been adopted in spite of all our dysfunction, our rebellion, our anger, and our insecurity. We've been shown grace and mercy, and so we extend grace and mercy.

I pray we ask the Lord what it looks like for each of us...each family...each church to love and care for the orphan in distress. Regardless of how hard it can be, when we care for the orphan, God is inviting us to come face to face with the gospel. He's inviting us to hold it in our laps. Is there any greater gift?"

After Together for Adoption

So, we went, we listened, we prayed, we cried, we prayed, worshiped, we asked a million questions, prayed, checked out some things, met some people, had great fellowship, prayed, asked more questions. We came home tired, sad, hopeful, convicted and full of faith and yet unsure of the future. We came home completely convinced we are to take action and yet not convinced we know what that will look like. We haven't stopped talking about it and we are thinking even more!

There are 163 MILLION orphans in the world! The number is growing exponentially due to HIV/AIDS. The cycle will continue unless the church steps up and rescues the fatherless. It is the church who is supposed to care for these. God is passionate about the fatherless. Look at these scriptures

Ex 22:22 "You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child."

Deut 10:18 ""He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Deut 14:29 "And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do."

Deut 26:12 "“When you have finished paying all the tithe of your produce in the third year, which is the year of tithing, giving it to the Levite, the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, so that they may eat within your towns and be filled,"

Ps 68:5 " Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation."

Ps 82:3 "Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute."

Ps 146:9 "The LORD watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin."

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

He is passionate about the fatherless, we must take what God is passionate about and make it our pursuit. That does not mean that I think every christian is to adopt a child or two. I think some will be called to adopt. Some will be called to provide finances, some will be called to pray, some will be called to babysit while an adoption family gets training or has to travel, some will serve as an advocate, some will foster children, the list goes on and on. We will all have different functions, but in all honesty I don't think anyone of us can sit out. This is not a preference like schooling choices, sports vs. music or what kind of church we attend. All believers are called to care for orphans. James makes it very clear.

I realize that I have just return for a weekend where all I heard about was how the church can care for orphans, but God actually began speaking and stirring my heart about this last year. The conference only confirmed what the Spirit has been leading us in.

For us personally, we are open to anything. We will pursue a home study just to be prepared. It breaks our heart that kids age out of our U.S. foster system and have no where to go on their birthday. This is in America, not some far away land. So, we wonder if we should rescue those who will soon be alone and destitute. Fred was very intrigued by Tom Davis and with The Abba Fund Ministry. We both feel drawn to serve with Every Orphan's Hope, a locally based ministry that cares for orphans in Zambia. I just want to do something. I can be tempted to think we are older and have missed our chance to make a difference, but I think that is a lie the enemy would love for me to believe and stay in. Lies can paralyze us. I must hear the truth and act on it. We must face this issue and respond how the Lord leads us. Most of all, we must bring the Gospel to the least of these. To meet their physical needs and not share the Gospel is wrong, Jesus Christ is the only hope for all of us. I am not the answer to the orphan crisis, Jesus is. He is enough!

Just Might Make It!!

Every January I set out with new goals and ideas that usually don't last. I am not even going to look back to see what I decided to try this past January. I am sure, since I can't even remember them, I have not accomplished them. I know I am not any thinner, which was probably a goal!! BUT!!!! There is one thing I am accomplishing. I started a new Bible reading plan in January and I am still on course 3/4th's of the way through the year. I have never been able to keep up with reading plans and get discouraged and feel like I need a week away to catch up, but for some reason, this one felt do-able and I have loved it. I have waited this long to blog about it because I wanted to see if I would really stick to it. I think I might just make it to the end and actually finish this plan!!!! It is called "Engage Scripture." It was put together by Darrin Patrick, who has been all over the Internet lately due to his new book about Church Planting and his video about manhood. Anyway, I did not know anything about him when I found the plan, I just chose the plan because it looked like it would work for me.

This plan takes you through the Bible in a year. 2 OT readings a day and 1 NT reading a day. It has built-in days off every 3 days, so that if I fall behind I can catch up pretty easily. I downloaded the PDF file and printed it and keep it in my Bible. Here is the link for it: http://journeyon.net/engage/scripture/reading

Click on the "Engage Scripture Reading Program" and then it comes up in a nice chart format.

There are extra things this site will do for you, great explanations of scripture, videos etc. I did not use them, though I may this coming year. I really found the simple reading plan enough for me.

I realize that at this time of the year you are probably not looking for a new plan, but January will be here soon and I may forget to write about this!!

Thoughts on Corporate Worship

"In the Bible, the glory of God refers to God’s “heaviness,” his powerful presence. It’s God’s prevailing excellence on display. The glory of God is the “augustness” of God—an old term conveying his awe-inspiring majesty. In fact, one reason why Christians in the Roman Empire were persecuted is that they refused to use the word august for the emperor—such a description belonged to God alone, they said. They understood that there is a transcendent majesty unique to God. This high and lifted up greatness of God is what Isaiah encountered—a God who is majestically and brilliantly in command.

All this means we ought to come to worship expecting first and foremost to see God. We come to encounter his glory, to be awe struck by his majesty. A worship service isn’t the place to showcase human talent but the place for God to showcase his divine treasure. We gather not to be impressed by one another—how we sound, what we wear, who we are—but to be impressed by God and his mighty acts of salvation. We come to sing of who he is and what he’s done. We come to hear his voice resounding in and through his Word. We come to feel the grief of our sin so that we can taste the glory of his salvation. We gather to be magnificently defeated, flattened, and shrunk by the power and might of the living God.

This is in stark contrast to the world’s insistence that the bigger we get and the better we feel about ourselves, the freer we become. That’s why many worship services have been reduced to little more than motivational, self-help seminars filled with “you can do it” songs and sermons. But what we find in the gospel is just the opposite. The gospel is good news for losers, not winners. It’s for those who long to be freed from the slavery of believing that all of their significance, meaning, purpose, and security depend on their ability to “become a better you.” The gospel tells us that weakness precedes usefulness—that, in fact, the smaller you get, the freer you will be. As G.K. Chesterton wrote, “How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it.” Nothing makes you more aware of your smallness and life’s potential bigness than encountering the glory of God in worship. Corporate worship services in the church today desperately need to recover a sense of God’s size!" Tullian Tchividjian

Such a great reminder as I get ready to go to church and worship!

"Remember the Wonderous Works He has Done" 1 Chronicles 16:12

I woke this morning at 4 am to a horrible headache. They come in the night and make me want to puke. I was laying there thinking how it hurt too much to get up and get some medicine and then I said out loud "Please God, take it away. I can't take it. This week has been hard enough!" I got up, took a pill, drank coffee, had Fred rub my head and by 7:30 it was gone. But, the discouragement wasn't. This past week my stomach hasn't been doing well again, hard to keep any food in me and my dizziness has been worse. I have battled feeling overwhelmed as the Dr. says "I am not sure how to help you."

I began my morning with checking out some blogs. Then I come to one I check each week. A young family with a 6 year old who has brain cancer. I am leveled. My issues become light and momentary. My "suffering" becomes just an inconvenience. In light of what others are facing today, I have a great lot in life. In light of what has been already done for me, what more do I need?? I begin to thank God for so much. I start with my kids. They all love God. That alone is mind boggling. Then, I recall my life just 2 years ago, almost every night sitting by Meg's bed as her body seized and we prayed. She has now had only 3 or 4 seizures this year! A miracle and an act of grace. I recall the news of infertility and then I watch a video of Violet and Augie laughing...tears pour down my face...miracles. I look at Annie with cupcake all over her face and can't help but laugh at her exuberance for life and I hear her voice in my head yelling "ullo....Mimi I here!" I watched videos of Jack that Mindy sent this week, I watch them for the 100th time and cry as he coos and smiles at his Mama. Leveled that I would complain of a headache when I have been given so much.

It is so easy to see what I don't have. So easy to want something else. So easy to think God has overlooked a "need." For me, the medicine I need is to recall. To look back and recall all that He HAS done. To speak thanks for everything I have and everything I have experienced. To speak aloud the mercies of God. I am making a list today of where I see His kindness and keeping it close at hand. I choose, by the power of the Holy Spirit to be content and grateful, whatever my lot, that my soul will be joyful and content.

"Contentment comes by comparing what we have to what our sins deserve." Dave Harvey

I Am Not Crazy!!!

I went to the Pharmacy yesterday to get a prescription filled for medication for my vertigo. The pharmacy tech took it and went to do something behind the counter. She whispered to the pharmacist a few words and then came back to me and said "I am so sorry, I don't want to upset you but we cannot filled this until tomorrow. We do not have the generic on hand." I replied "That's fine. I can wait." I walked away wondering why she was so apologetic and why she thought I would be upset. Then I realized....the script was for 90 tablets of Valium!!!! I think she thought I was seriously mentally unstable!!! hahhahha

Next Step??

I don't know when it all started. The first time I felt a burden for orphans was when we lived in Cleveland. I remember sitting on the floor of the living room talking to Fred and then deciding we would contact Bethany Christian Services in the near future to learn about Korean adoptions. About a week later I found out that I was pregnant with our third child, the other kids had just turned 1 and 2, so we decided we had enough on our plate for now. The next time it came up we began to investigate adopting a boy from Romania, we were in Virginia at this point. I don't remember what stopped us, but something did. Then in Denver the idea of a Russian adoption crossed our path, but we were getting ready to move to Dallas, so we needed to wait and then the opportunity was no longer there. It has been a desire of ours to adopt and yet we never did it. I trust in God's sovereignty, but that may be one of those things I regret when I am old.

So, fast forward to this year. Some friends begin to tell us that they have a burden for orphan care and they are trying to figure out what to do, they didn't necessarily feel called to adopted, but were sensing a call to widows and orphans. I remember listening to Cate share the burden God had put on her heart and thinking "That is so cool how God is moving...too bad we are to old to be a part of this stuff." Then, suddenly, my husband tells me that him and some guys are meeting with a guy who runs Every Orphans Hope, a local ministry that cares for orphans in Africa. The next thing you know, we are praying about going to Zambia this summer. We quickly concluded that my health was not in a place for me to be able to do that trip and Fred felt strongly that we either went together or we stayed home. We stayed home, but the passion grew. And then we discovered there were others in our church feeling a similar stirring.
The more I prayed the more it grew, the more I read the more it grew and even as I would play with my grandkids my heart was breaking for those who didn't have a family.

My sister, Barb, came to visit in March and she has adopted 2 children. She has a burden for orphan care alongside her passion for adoption. We had conversations about how the local church could care for orphans and offer practical help and share the Gospel. I was so aware that many are trying to care for orphans but if all we do is care for them in the physical way and we don't present the Gospel, then we have failed. The Gospel is the ONLY hope for any of us!

Then Hosanna went to an Christian Alliance for Orphans conference in Minneapolis and came home with a boatload of information for us. We took some of the CD's from the conference with us when we drove to see Jack Jack. Oh, our hearts were stirred even more. Our passion for the local church and our growing passion for orphans were coming together and I felt like I was going to burst at times. It was so so exciting to see God working in both of us at the same time.

There is so much more to this odyssey than what I have written, but it is too hard to explain it all. What I hope I conveyed is the overall gist of what is happening. In October we will go to Together for Adoption with the hopes of learning how to build an orphan care ministry in local churches with the hope that God would make a way for our very own church to be able to do something at some point and with the hopes of learning how Fred and I can make a difference for a few kids. Who knows what will be? Maybe it will just be that we just pray daily for those children, but maybe, just maybe there is something more for us to do.

Please pray for us as we learn about all of this. I can feel so excited and a bit overwhelmed. It is thrilling to feel the activity of God occurring and to feel the sense of anticipation that he is leading and we are not sure where we are heading. Isn't serving God great??!!!!!!

Long Over Due

Well, it has been about 6 months since I blogged. It seems that with facebook blogs are falling behind, but I like blogs so much better. I am going to try to keep mine up, we will see.

There is too much to catch you up on since January, so I will just highlight a few things. We have a new grandson, Jack. He was born May 9th and we have been able to make 2 visits. The first one was on the day he was born and then we went back about 2 weeks later and spent a day in Denver and then a few days in Breck with Tyler and Mindy. It was wonderful!

Meg and I made a trip to New York City at the beginning of June. We got to see my family and many sights in the city. It was so fun to be there and explore.

One of the big things happening in our lives is that Fred and I are praying about what we do in this next season of life. It is easy to grow older and fade out, we want to finish well and strong. We feel like the Lord may be calling us to get involved in orphan care, not to actually adopt, but to find ways to care for the vulnerable. We have a ton of ideas and roads to choose from, the question is, which path does the Lord have for us? How do we give our lives away to the ones that have no one? It is exciting and scary. I feel the same sense of anticipation and trepidation I have felt in the past when we were praying about going on church plants. I find myself thinking in new ways and examining my life by new measures. This life here is short and the pleasure of this world are fleeting, I don't want to cling to those things when there are children who need to hear the gospel and know the love of Jesus. "Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." (Psalm 82:3-4) I will write more on this as God leads us. In October we are attending a conference, Together for Adoption, to learn more about what we can do through our local churches to care for those who have no mommy and daddy to love and protect them. I will keep you posted.

Happy New Year!!!!

So a new year comes and with it comes the desire to start fresh on some things, get order to some things and change some things!

From the practical side of life I am getting organized this year. Every corner of this house will be subject to being overhauled or gotten rid of. I am working already on a new home management plan that I think will be great for my season, I have begun to organize and purge and feel freer already and the weekly schedule is printed in pretty colors and posted. I even made a pretty envelope thingy to hold my cash in its categories! And the meal planning system is next! I do not feel overwhelmed but instead feel like adding these systems will make my life simpler and that is what I am aiming for.

From the personal side of things, I feel like the Lord has really been helping me be loosened from things I have held to tightly to this past years. my fears, my plans, my hopes, my agdendas. As I have seen friends and family deal with many heartbreaking difficult things I find myself accepting the fact that we live lives that take many twists and turns and we travel up many hills and down into many valleys but the sovereign God will never leave us and will always be about our good. I know I am not immune to the same things happening to me. I have no guarantee that tomorrow everyone I love will still be here or that their will be unity and peace in my little world. I have seen may go through these types of trials and I know it can happen to me, but I have found that I worry less now and pray more. The book "A Praying Life" by Paul Miller changed my life and there is no exaggeration there. I am desperate for God and therefore I pray. If I don't pray, it shows that I think I am in control and don't need him. I find the personal conveniences that I would have called "needs" are just conveniences and I can do without. I want to live a life that is spent on dying to myself that others may feel his love. I want my life known for living all for His glory.

I know this year has some interesting things ahead for us. We are already strategizing and praying. I hold all my dreams and desiring loosely, I trust my God will have his way in us and no good thing will he withhold. I hope that when I write my last entry for the year in 2010 there is fruit to these thoughts, otherwise they will be like so many other empty New Year's resolutions. I believe there will be because I believe what I am feeling is a work of the Holy Spirit in me. I want to care less about me and more about Him. Does it really matter if I am right about something? Does it really matter if I get that item I was hoping for? Does it really matter if you make a mistake and offend me? When I get to see my Savior will I really care what happened down here? Life on this earth is but a blink of the eye. I want to live for the life that never ends. By the grace of God I hope I do.