I just could not find them. I searched and racked my brain, when did I wear them last?? How long have my favorite pair of flip flops been missing? I back track...I ask my girls "What was I wearing on Saturday? Oh, yes my Old Navy pink shirt, did I have on my brown flip flops?" Then a call to another girl "Can you ask Violet if she remembers me wearing my flip flops or if she saw them while she was here?" No one knows where they went to. I go through the trash (knowing I am capable of every absent-minded action). I finally give up and wear flip flops that don't match. Later in the day I am back at the great search. I waste an hour. Thinking, re-thinking, looking through my shoes for the 100th time. Finally, I remember that Someone knows where they are, so I pray "Lord, this is so small, but I love my brown Tevas I really want to find them. Would you please show me where they are. I know it is really not a big deal, but you love to help don't you?" And I quit looking. Ten minutes later I go to put something away and in the Wii box are my favorite sole mates!!!! "YES God! You care, you love to answer, YES you are aware of every detail no matter how small! YES Your eye is on me." Then I fall into a puddle of tears, "If you care so much about things that are insignificant how can I doubt your care for the things that are huge? I believe, forgive my unbelief." My mind is flooded with things that I have worried about, things I have tried to fix. Things I chose to carry instead of release to Him. I let it go, I tell Him about each of my concerns and I leave them there, in His everlasting hands. Peace and rest enter my heart.

This morning I slipped on my flip flops and gratitude welled up in my heart for those ole shoes, but mostly for the reminded that they will now be to me of my Father's keen awareness of every detail of my life.

Psalm 27

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" Ps 27:14. This seems to be our song lately. We are waiting. Waiting. Waiting. We spoke with our agency today, we are being included in a staffing on a girl. (that means all the people involved with her are considering us for her family) We need to hear from the Lord. It is hard to try to discern His will. I was so unprepared for this step of the journey. The unknown, the waiting, the wondering...and yet isn't that what these kids have endured for years??? My few months is nothing. So I let my heart take courage and I wait. Fred is amazing through this all. So, steady, so sure of God's good plan.

It seems that the Lord so desires for me to press in and learn to trust when the way is not showing itself to be clear to me. To trust Him that He is active even when things seem dormant. Psalm 1 is a great reminder of the seasons God has for us, all necessary and yet some seem so dead. There are many things that have burdened my heart lately and there seems to be no resolution for any of them, again, I must wait and trust. Trust that He is so good and so kind and so aware of my life and my heart and my longings. Trust that when things seem confusing and unclear that that is only my view, not God's. It is good for me to have to continue to pray and ask my Father for things, it is good to be reminded of my utter dependence on Him. To wake in the morning and run to Him and beg for His action. Oh, how He loves for us to come and beseech HIm and trust Him with child-like faith. Yes, I must run to Him often and request and trust.

Please continue to pray for us as we proceed. We need God's wisdom as we decide on this child. He must lead us. We are lost without Him.