Psalm 52:9

Yesterday was a hard day. To read words that signify the evil world we live in, real words conveying the details of a real life. Not some movie or some tale from long ago. Words that reveal what our true nature is apart from Christ. My life has been so different than so many. I have never known the hand of abuse or the mental anguish of abandonment. I have never feared for lack of food or shelter. I have never been alone, never lived alone, never wondered if anyone who notice if I disappeared. I am overwhelmed this morning as I see how gentle and kind that Lord has been to me and I am left wondering why. Why is it that I have had it so easy while some have had it so hard? Why was I given to parents who loved and protected me and others were given to parents who would injure? It makes no sense to me and this morning as I began my devotions, my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude. I am freshly aware that I do not deserve all that I have been given and I am humbled by my heart that thinks at times that I should have more. How can a heart have such contrasting views?? My prayer for today is that I would live today with eyes wide open to God and all of His mercies toward me, that from my lips would come praise and gratitude and not grumbling, that Ps. 52:9 "I will thank you forever" would be my song today, but also that tomorrow when the words of the CPS file fade from my mind, the thanks in my heart would not.